(*＾ワ＾*）
after crying on and off all day yesterday i cant feel anything. i just want her back so bad. i wanna pet her and hug her and take just a few more pictures of her. i miss having her scratch at my door in the middle of the night and i miss her jumping onto my bathroom counter while i’m trying to wash my face even though those things used to annoy me. i just wish this didn’t happen. i wish life was fair.
my beautiful grey kitty london died today at about noon. im inconsolable so i need to vent or whatever this post is. as i write this im crying and waiting to get her cremated. im gonna tell you all about her:
i truly believe she loved me. im so sad i dont have a lot of pictures of her but here are a few of them
she was so affectionate, her and her sister are truly the perfect cats for me and i hope i get to see london again in some way
i made a post a while ago about ordering clothes from fashion nova. well my clothes are here now and i wanna style them. as a side note this is my first time taking flat lay photos, i wouldve showed you the clothes on but honestly my mirror is dirty and i dont wanna clean it and i dont have anyone to do a photoshoot with. ill be reviewing the clothes as i show you my amateur flat lays and ill link to all of the clothes at the end of this post. THIS IS NOT SPONSORED but i would love if it was. fashion nova please sponsor me.
ok, so these outfits are pretty basic and also pretty femme since thats my general style and i didnt want to include non-fashion nova items.
please note
burberry esque
this outfit is probably my favorite since it’s ungodly comfortable. the top is the straight to it bodysuit, the bottoms are the madeline high rise printed leggings, and the belt is the black part of the back to basic belt set. these leggings are so comfortable and remind me of lularoe leggings without the thick waistband. theyre super soft and nice. the bodysuit is comfortable and it makes my boobs look huge. the belt is super nice and i love that the buckle is rounded instead of square.
around the house
the top is the straight to it bodysuit and the bottoms are the everyday basic shorts. these shorts are super comfy and tight so they dont bother my legs by flapping around and chafing. the bodysuit is just like the black version but in this one since the fabric is white there is a possibility of showing off your nipples if you go braless.
*john travolta voice* SANDY?
this outfit reminds me of sandy from grease but casual. the top is the fool in love off the shoulder bodysuit and the jeans are classic high waist skinny jeans in dark while the belt is the black belt in the back to basics belt set. the jeans are really stretchy and flattering but something i’ve noticed is that the darker colored jeans are less stretchy than lighter colors. i would assume this is because the lightening process affects the structural integrity of the fibers making them more malleable. the top is super cute and also makes my boobs look huge, my one criticism is that the buttons are real so i get gaps in between the buttons on my chest.
i’m a cloud
the top is the straight to it bodysuit and the joggers are the leyle jogger pants. i love these bottoms. they’re really interesting in that the material is almost crepe like but still thick. also nice is the fact that on the joggers the aglets are metal so that’s a nice luxe touch.
i-i-i im a a little butterfly
the top is the made me do it top in mauve the jeans are Classic high waist skinny jeans in medium blue and the belt is the brown belt in the back to basics belt set. i’m in love with this belt it’s super cute on and i prefer brown to black. these jeans are stretchier than the darkest wash and are very comfortable. the top is super cute i just wish the back was cut higher but that’s only because i’m insecure about my upper back. the top reminds me of a butterfly or a papillon dog’s ears when on.
emmaline top two ways
both of these tops are the emmaline top while the light blue jeans are classic high waist skinny jeans in light blue and the white jeans are super high waist denim skinnies in white. i like the emmaline top so much that i bought it in two colors and that’s all i have to say about that. both of these jeans are absurdly stretchy and i love them the most of all of my jeans from fashion nova. my only criticism of the white jeans is that i wish they had belt loops.
now to the bread and butter of this blog. how i felt putting on these clothes.
i actually felt pretty good. i was still pretty critical of myself but since all of the clothes fit i wasnt hypercritical. i love it that fashion nova is catering more toward people like me who always have a gap in their jeans from other stores. this all in all made my experience great and didnt exacerbate any distaste i ahve for my body since clothes fit so i didnt feel like my body is wrong.
links
outfit 1:
Straight To It Bodysuit – Black
Madeline High Rise Printed Leggings – Multi
Back To Basic Belt Set – Black/Tan
outfit 2:
Straight To It Bodysuit – White
outfit 3:
Fool In Love Off Shoulder Bodysuit – Black
Classic High Waist Skinny Jeans – Dark
Back To Basic Belt Set – Black/Tan
outfit 4:
Straight To It Bodysuit – White
outfit 5:
Classic High Waist Skinny Jeans – Medium Blue
Back To Basic Belt Set – Black/Tan
outfit 6:
Super High Waist Denim Skinnies – White
Classic High Waist Skinny Jeans – Light Blue
please dont think im bragging i just wanted to review and style some clothes (✿˵◕‿◕˵)
i’ve come up with 3 goals for my blog with the help of the wordpress blogging university prompt for today.
not much else to say about this. i’m excited to see what other people say for their goals.
i didn’t tell y’all about my songwriting journal when i introduced you to my journals.
i’ve been occasionally writing songs in a miliko dotted spiral notebook since december.
i’ve got two whole songs chord structure and all so i thought id tell you why i wrote them.
i don’t know, i don’t feel very inspired to blog today so i wrote about the first thing i thought about this morning.
why is every romance about a human falling in love with a robot amazing? there’s Her, Chobits, about five million livejournal original stories, and like a ton more robot romance content.
you know what those all have in common?
theyre absolutely delightful.
(as a side note you should all watch chobits, its a great anime)
i think i’ve discovered why i love robot romance so much and its because the couple don’t relate to each other much and you know what? i don’t relate to most people.
not to say i’m some uber special person but i do have many unique interests and i don’t meet a ton of people who are similar to me in more than maybe 2 ways.
perhaps i have such a hard time relating to others due to my emotional avoidance tactics that i developed during the height of my eating disorder, a very notable one being social isolation.
most of the time for me my audience surrogate isn’t the human but rather the robot.
whoa what if i’m a robot?
another way i find to relate to the robot is that while artificial intelligence is made to be perfect, i constantly strive to be perfect. the robots in robot romance always seem like something to strive toward, chii from chobits being a great example of this since i am obsessed with her character design and would die to look like her despite the fact that i know shes really pretty amorphous.
maybe i want to be a robot.
i built a desk (and desk chair) today and wanted to show off that i’m an amazing carpentress
what defines an existential crisis?
i think i’m having one.
i’m thinking a lot about what happens after death so i’m going to tell you my fears surrounding various possible forms of afterlife.
nothing
the most and least terrifying possibility
i like the concept that everything stops but i don’t like the idea of there being just blackness. its nice to imagine just not being conscious. absolutely nothing seems nice but what if its blackness. blackness isn’t nothingness, i don’t even know what nothingness is.
heaven/hell
scared of both
hell is torture but in heaven what if the people up there were watching you and know your secrets.
reincarnation
i might like to be reincarnated as long as its continual reincarnation and my consciousness never stops existing because then i’m just left with another end of consciousness dilemma.
truman show scenario
oh my god
that would be kinda cool
i was in the matrix
also cool but then what do i do now knowing that information?
i cant think of anymore now so bye i guess
here’s a picture of me and peanut
aaaaaaaaahhhhh…
i’m worried about meeting my new outpatient dietitian and therapist. i’m used to my treatment team from renfrew and so now i’m scared.
i’m just gonna vent my what ifs to you ok?
what if the dietitian tries to get me to eat meat? what if my therapist isn’t supportive of my blog? what if i don’t like them? what if this feels like a chore? what if i have to keep doing food-emotion journals for my dietitian? oh my god what if i relapse because i don’t trust my outpatient treatment team?
thanks for reading that.
turns out there aren’t quite as many what ifs as it felt like. i thought i’d have like 100 problems but i guess i just have 6ish.
maybe this list will be inspiration for you as to what you want to use your empty notebooks for since we all must have one.
1.my bullet journal
first and foremost, my bullet journal keeps my life together. in my bullet journal i track my water consumption, write diary entries, create daily to do lists, create monthly calendar setups, track my sleep, use my habit tracker, and generally plan.
2. big dream journal
my big dream journal is where i write diary-like entries on my progress toward large goals
3. lifestyle design notebook
in the lifestyle design notebook i specify goals and the steps to achieving them.
4. foreign language sentence practice
in my sentence practice journal i write at least one sentence pertaining to my day in another language
5. various foreign language notebooks
i take my foreign language notes in these
6. school notebooks
i take notes for school in these
