an idea for a dystopia

ok, so, ight

imagine this:

a dictator takes over and makes all money worth negative what it’s worth so if you have a lot of money you’re suddenly lower class than someone with not one dollar to their name.

i don’t know what to do with  this idea but yeah i think it could be cool so if you’re good at writing you can steal this idea and make it make more sense.

also update:

i got some sourdough bread


an act of self care

if you go to my school and you reading this you may have your final conversation with me this week. don’t worry, i’m not gonna do anything bad but if i find you to be an asshole, bigoted, or just unpleasant to be around you’ll be receiving a unique response if you try to speak to me.

if you approach me and you’re unpleasant i will be responding “in an act of self care i’ve decided to not interact with you”

i believe that (a)this is a very kind way to get people to not interact with me anymore and (b) i am not required to converse with anyone i don’t want to deal with, so if you have an issue with me saying this to you don’t worry you can take your complaints to twitter where i probably already have you blocked and (c) it’s better to tell people you won’t interact with them is better than giving them the silent treatment.

i know that this blog post is quite a bit more negative in tone than normal but honestly every day at my school i deal with some bottom of the barrel humans and i’m not going to put up with it anymore.

now while we’re here talking self care i want to tell you about the new habits i’ve added to my habit tracker.

new habits include:

  • took probiotics
  • posted on social media
  • organized
  • tracked meals
  • took photos
  • did schoolwork
  • detangled hair
  • journaled

some old habits that are returning are

  • ate 3 meals
  • attempted self care
  • stretched
  • studied korean
  • lifestyle designed
  • and many more

i’m working on upping my activity level, working on my online presence, and getting more used to stress this upcoming month even though it’s my last month of high school because i really wanna start getting prepped for college early.

i’m really craving sourdough right now. hopefully i’ll buy some the next time i go shopping.

i don’t know why i told you that this is kind of a stream of consciousness right now.

heres a picture of poptart


last prom post i promise

i did the whole prom thing last night.

me and my friends had a good time but i was disappointed that they didn’t play any music one can vogue to so i didn’t dance a ton since it was all either good twerking music (i can’t twerk), edm esque remixes (yikes), or country music.

one bit of drama is that a girl and her date who sat at the table with my friends were shady and standoffish and i was not ok with it. it kinda put a damper on my night. they insisted on saving 2 seats for their friends (i hate when people save seats) and then left after 20 minutes when they realized their friends got another table so… that’s a positive.

other than that i had a small plate of pasta primavera and drank a ton of the lemonade they offered at the drinks table.

i left early and when i got home i did my skincare routine and ate some french fries because i didn’t eat much before or during prom.

heres photos (not including group photos since i don’t wanna violate my friends privacy)

testing my portable ring light on peanut


white toes are a lifestyle
my prom date and i


camwhoring before i leave
the cute flowers in the courtyard of the venue
my clutch on the table
the rim of my glass i guess
the courtyard was great for camwhoring


the effects of the various colored mood lighting


my face dealing with shady folks
me looking cute and maddie looking sad

um… so i dont know how to finish this post so i’m going to just leave


feels like i’m getting ready for my wedding or something

prom is tonight.



so i’ve gotta do a bunch of stuff and here’s the things on my to do list

  • paint my finger and toe nails
  • shape my eyebrows
  • shower
  • makeup
  • try hair
  • possibly redo hair since my hair is so unpredictable
  • lotion
  • body shimmer
  • contacts
  • clean piercing
  • put on earrings
  • try on whole look
  • take a bunch of pictures
  • pack clutch
  • check for a second time that i’m fully ready
  • third check
  • drive for like an hour to the venue

it seems like this list is long but this is a condensed list. i didn’t even include eachh step of the makeup process.


hopefully tonight goes well.

i plan on leaving an hour early because i’m still feeling pretty sick and i just really wanna sleep at a decent hour.


obligatory photo:

will be posted on my instagram

prom themed anxiety

so prom is tomorrow and i’m nervous.

i don’t really know my plans for the day and i’m scared that with my sinus infection i’ll be exhausted and hacking up a lung for the whole night. i’m gonna hopefully have a nice night but there’s no way to get rid of my anxiety right now that taking a xanax and a nap.

my dress is beautiful and i’ll be sure to plaster my prom photos all over social media tomorrow.

heres a few photos from the past weekish

me doing that open mouth thing models do in selfies
me pretending i’m cute
whoa look what blinds do (unedited)
smiling but also in pain
peanut sitting on my boob

oh! you know what i wanted to tell you about?


i got a new piercing!

brightened so you can see how cute my star earring is

look at it!


i have another thing to tell you about!

i got a birth control implant. i got nexplanon and i love touching where the rod went in my arm. check out my cool bruise.


my worst habit

i have a very maladaptive, impractical, time consuming, money grubbing, gross, stupid, inexplicable habit.


i collect everything that i like.


as of right now i collect:

  • stuffed animals
  • body spray
  • eyeshadow
  • disney tsum tsums
  • jelly shoes
  • disney ufufys
  • stationary
  • grippy socks
  • vintage panties
  • lotion
  • leggings
  • floral arrangements
  • paper copies of epic poems
  • pens
  • wide legged pants
  • turtlenecks
  • and to an extent pets

i’m sure that that’s not even the whole list.

this is an awful habit that i realized i had as i left the disney store with a bag of disney ufufys and decided that that would be my newest obsession. this habit is especially insidious as i don’t even realize that i collect these things until i have an impractical amount of the items i so dearly love. and once i love them  can’t get rid of them.


am i a hoarder?



i just like so many things and can’t resist things i like so much.

one thing i’d like to comment on is how saying you collect something is looked upon so much more positively than admitting you have a hoarding problem. what’s up with that? the only difference i see between those at home museums and the houses on hoarders is that the people on hoarders don’t put up as many shelves.

i’m just gonna call myself a maximalist and live in peace with my mountains of stuff.

ED Recovery Update #5

I had a doctors appointment today to get a birth control implant and after i went to eat at my favorite restaurant!

My favorite restaurant is called Roll n Go and it’s a vietnamese restaurant/boba shop. I ordered shaken tofu and a green boba tea and i ate all of it.

I’ve been eating relatively decent meals at school everyday but i haven’t been able to meet 100% of my meal exchanges. I don’t think that’s a problem though because i view that as being flexible and a step to eating intuitively.

I tried qdoba for the first time last week and i enjoyed it although i just don’t think i’m one for pseudo-mexican food as it didn’t blow my mind like it does to others. I’m so grateful to one of my classmates though because she bought it for me.


here’s a picture of peanut in my mom’s bed