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making fun of the “carnivore diet”

so since i’m a masochist i really like to go through the ketogenic diet tags on twitter and instagram to make myself gag. i’ve always liked to go through shaun bakers twitter specifically because i think he’s just the most pompous mess of a human. baker eats nothing but meat (look up his blood tests, they’re awful) and i always thought he was an outlier but it turns out there’s a bunch of people like him.

 

let’s make fun of their twitter posts *trigger warning dead bodies*

 

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very balanced. just like an english bulldog (that joke is funny because they’re top heavy)
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you hear that? no fruits. scurvy is the healthiest state for the human body
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i thought you cared about being able to do what you want? why can’t vegetarians?
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aren’t you supposed to be tough? you care this much about zootopia? …probably because your testosterone levels are abysmal.
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are you the dentist from little shop of horrors? i don’t think you like your diet, i think you’re just a sadist.

i didn’t wanna include the screenshot but there’s a few posts from a father about feeding his child this way and honestly i’m not trying to be mean but PLEASE DON’T. coming from a lifelong vegetarian who has never had any major health issues that weren’t eating disorder symptoms: an orange won’t kill your kid. please consider that you may be alienating him from the world. again, not to be a cunt because i know i’m not a parent but you know what i do know? the academy of nutrition and dietetics does not endorse an all meat diet for young children. please reconsider and let your kid eat some fucking spinach.

this post is stupid but i really wanted to make fun of people today.

if you’re a “carnivore” (even though physiologically you’re an omnivore, sorry) please respond to this because i’d love to make fun of you as well. ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ if you don’t wanna comment remember that i have a contact tab on my blog through which you can email me♡

i’m gonna go eat some sourdough

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6 thoughts on “making fun of the “carnivore diet”

  1. You will find a lot of carnivores were really sick. Lyme disease, RA, ibs, autoimmune issues. After decades of doctors and drugs not helping, they managed to cure their own illnesses. Whatever your opinions on the way you did it, and whatever your beliefs. Most deserve your respect or at least for their conditions not to be mocked. There are some idiots and militant carnivores, just like there are vegan crazies. Does not mean everyone is on either side.

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    1. listen, i don’t wish to offend you, be vitriolic, or anything of the sort but it is a fact that humans are not obligate carnivores in the way that for example a polar bear is. these same claims of a certain diet curing peoples ailments can be made of just about any diet other than the standard american diet. the okinawan diet, vegetarian, eco-atkins, ketogenic, vegan, and even starvation. does this make eating the tortured flesh of sentient beings a net positive for the earth? no. in my post i never once mocked any medical condition, so please don’t make strawman arguments toward me or fay. it’s not anybodies job to convert anyone to veganism but it is my job to be silly on the internet. i literally get paid for it. thank you for reading. have a nice day. ☆

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      1. You will find that no Carnivore thinks that we are obligate carnivores. We know the definition. Personally I believe we are facultative carnivores. I am deeply concerned by some animal farming, that does not mean meat is not the most nutrient dense food and should not be eaten. Large scale crop farming is also terrible for wild animal life and topsoil. The issue is we need to find better practises in both types of farming. My mother is a vegan by the way and I was brought up a vegetarian. So I am not against either diet per se. Each to their own. Anyway didn’t mean to jump on your blog and be a twat, just wanted to make sure you were aware there are reasons a lot of people end up on zero carbs, and it’s not just for blood lust. Happy blogging. All the best.

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        1. i listen to the academy of nutrition and dietetics for my dietary advice and all modern science points to animals not only being sentient but not wanting to die. i read your facultative carnivore post on your blog (nice layout btw) and i found that you focused heavily on anecdotes rather than actual peer reviewed evidence and there were very few sources for a post with such gusto. i recommend searching through pubmed before speaking authoritatively. that’s why i avoid making posts in which i recommend things as far as diet and health are concerned. yes, it is important to value our health but is it truly best to “thrive” off of others suffering rather than live comfortably without such contributions? sorry i ask so many rhetorical questions. i personally believe that the incedental casualties caused in crop farming are terrible and more should be done to prevent them but they pale in comparison to the intentional suffering forced onto our livestock. also your claim that meat is “the most nutrient dense food” lacks nuance as you do not state any specific nutrients. if you really wanna discuss nutrient density it would be best to specify certain nutrients because i can easily claim meat is the least nutrient dense food if i am looking at it for the sake of vitamin c. it’s important when you have the power to influence the health of others via your platform that you make sensible recommendations and give statements with nuance. please consider other sentient beings when making choices and also maybe have an orange every once in a while, i don’t want anyone to get scurvy. this comment is far too messy to continue writing, please be mindful. -mikah ☆

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          1. Agree with where you are coming from for the most part. Just remember that there are 2 sides to every story. Zero carbers do not need as much Vit C as carb eaters. This is because glucose competes with Vit C to get into a cell. The less carbs you eat the less you need. Red muscle meat is listed as 0% Vit C with an * of presumed zero. It actually contains the required level of Vit C zero carbers need. Hence no one gets scurvy. Scurvy was a thing because sailors ate dried meat and carb biscuits. It was known even then that fresh meat cured scurvy, the limes were a cheap preventative measure for lower ranks. Red meat was given to the higher ranks. I ll leave it here, as I am off to the gym. Overall keep blogging and enjoy your life. That’s the crux of it all in the end. Peace. 👋🏼

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