day in the life

My Day

Today has been a little productive and very photography oriented.

I woke up at about 6:45 so I could take out the trash. Today the trash men came at 8:00. I wish they were more consistent with the time they come to get the trash because sometimes they arrive at 11:00, sometimes 14:00, sometimes 7:30. But I don’t want to be too critical because I’m thankful that they remove the garbage from my life.

I then went to sit and wait for an idea to come to mind when my mom asked me to edit a photo of her dog Posh. The edit turned out looking cheesy, so I offered her to take some pictures of Posh and Samoa in front of my photography backdrop.

This would lead to the one and only piece of drama in my day.

After eating breakfast, I got to setting up my photography rig and got the dog to the room where my stuff was. Posh mush be afraid of the white fabric because she refused to stand up. She laid down, she sat, she ran off of the backdrop. Samoa also wouldn’t stand (do they hate white?) but he was less stiff. After about 35 minutes of wrestling 2 french bulldogs, I ended up with these photos.


After that, I figured since I already was taking pictures, I might as well take some pictures of myself.

If you haven’t seen my most recent youtube video, you may not know that I’ve finally made a rig to take pictures of myself with my shutter button so as to get wider self shots.

I got a lot of good pictures which is pretty rare. Normally I’ll take about 400 shots and end up with about 4 good ones. Today I took 200 and ended up with 30 good pictures!

I’m not gonna post all 30 but here’s a good amount of them! (they’re big so just scroll hard if you don’t wanna look at me)

shutter button + timer = cheesy pose central!
so cheesy!
I look like I expect something. (it’s attention)
I just wanna show you my shoes honestly. They’re tough to put on so if I wear them, people need to see them. But you can see my general outfit as well.


i try to pose with props so my pictures aren’t so boring but it normally looks unnatural. This one doesn’t though! (don’t tell me it looks unnatural please, thanks)
I accidentally pressed the button while checking the focus
Did you think I was done with my cheesy poses?


See? Unnatural.
I think this is the best showcase of my face from today.


After my photo frenzy, I studied Swahili for about an hour because I’ve been neglecting that language for a bit too long.

Since studying, I edited my photos and did a load of laundry.

I really need to write in my language log today. I haven’t written in it for like 10 days! Terrible!

I think tomorrow I’m gonna try to get some great pictures of Peanut, Poptart, and Maddie. They’re a lot better at posing than Samoa and Posh.

Thanks for reading!


Taking My Youtube Channel in a New Direction

So, if you don’t know, I have a youtube channel where I’ve been posting study with me’s and language learning tips. I like the content on my channel so far, but I want my youtube channel to be even more of an extension of myself and a new avenue for my self expression.

So today is the first day of the rest of my life I guess.

I made a video introducing myself and it’s a bit more off the cuff and less polished than my past videos.

If you’re one of my 5 dedicated subscribers, don’t worry I’ll still post studying related content. There will just be other things alongside it.

Here’s my newest video:


I Made A Bloglovin Account

<a href=””>Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

*sorry, I have to put that chunk of code into a post*

I heard bloglovin is a good way to get exposure and I also have received an email requesting I make an account so the sender can follow me there.

So, that exists now.

you can follow me there if you want

Post over.


Guess Who’s Thinking About Mortality Again?

Don’t worry, nobody in my life has died, but 4 important figures in my life are nearing the ends of their natural lives.

  • My cat, Maddie
  • My male chihuahua, Poptart
  • My female chihuahua, Peanut
  • and Betty White

I occasionally get little memento mori strikes on my psyche where I remember that some day I’m gonna die and that’s not only gonna end any chance I have to do more with my life, but hopefully it will affect others. I feel a little odd saying “hopefully it will affect others” because a part of me never wants to make anybody sad, but I also don’t want to be a person who impacts nobody, you know?

So last night I was thinking about Betty White because I’ve decided when I get my dream pet, a sulcata/ african spur-thighed tortoise, I will name said tortoise after a golden girl. If you need to know one thing about me it’s that The Golden Girls is my favorite TV show ever. So I was contemplating which golden girl to name my non-existent tortoise after and I decided I don’t want to name her Rose because I have already had a pet named Rose, she was one of my mice that I had when I was 10-11. It made me feel a little bad because I have a bit of a sick obsession with Betty White and thus I want to memorialize her in any way I can once she passes on. It’s on my bucket list to meet Betty White some day and it makes me sad to be reminded that I’m running out of time to live that dream.

So with sad Betty White thoughts in my head I looked over to the 3 animals laying in my bed in search for consolation and upon looking at the greyed faces of Peanut, Poptart, and Maddie; I remembered their mortality as well. The 3 are all elderly and they’re beginning to show signs of their age (i.e Maddie’s fake death stunt).

It kinda freaks me out to think of the blow that my mind will take when any of the 3 of them die because having been through 2 pet deaths this year, I know just how bad I can get upon a pet’s death. I think my big defense against crippling depression following their deaths would be preparing myself, as London and Marshmallows deaths were both sudden surprises.

So with this mental burden that I have I’ve decided to just take as many photos and videos of them as I can before it’s too late.

And as far as Betty White is concerned, I’m just gonna have to speed up my road to success so I can meet her.

So I suppose if you wanna help me become successful so I can meet Betty White (yes, I’m guilt-tripping you), you can follow my blog and support my future work in general. I have a lot of links and such on my website.

Thank you for reading! ♡


Don’t Stalk Me ♡

Well I’m anxious.

Last night I watched a video from a guy named Quinton Reviews about being a youtuber and starting a channel and stuff like that and one thing he said kinda got to me.

He said that when you’re starting a channel you need to be very private about yourself i.e not posting landmarks in your area and not talking about where you’re from. He said he doesn’t love that people use his online username when they see him in real life and he’s afraid of being stalked now that his audience is big.

I guess since I’m an attention seeker I don’t hate the idea of somebody recognizing me in a grocery store (once I’m a person that matters), but I don’t love the idea of being stalked.

I like to imagine that people don’t have a good idea of where I’m from because I don’t really share stuff like what school I went to or even the city I live in but still I’m very aware of how easy it is to figure out where somebody is from via looking at their IRL friends info or tracking their IP address.

Do you remember the cicada 3301 conspiracy scavenger hunt thing?

I remember listening to the audio tracks when people leaked them to the public.

But the reason I mention it is because a bit of the hunt involved tracking IP addresses.

It’s weird to think about the percentage of technologically illiterate people in comparison to people who can fully figure out what somebody else is about.

But to my comfort, the majority of people who use the internet are technologically illiterate and also likely don’t care about me enough to track me down and shoot through my windows like that dude did to that twitch streamer.

Part of this post came to mind as I was taking pictures of a rainbow and a sign showing the miles to a city near mine was obstructing my view.

I did eventually get a non-city-disclosing photo thought and I think you guys should see it.


So if you’re a person who’s super interested in me and you have the urge to stalk me, maybe don’t. I’m very nice and if you comment or reach out to me I’m very likely to respond, so you won’t have to track me down to have a nice conversation with me. ♡

While you’re here, you might as well follow my blog! I post daily and sometimes the posts are good! ♡


A Look at 13 Year Old Me

I found an old SD card from when I was in 8th grade recently.

I only got the courage to look at the files on it today and wow…

I was annoying.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m a completely non-annoying person nowadays because I honestly annoy myself sometimes but whew!

I feel bad for everyone that spent time around me at that age.

I guess since I love embarassing myself, I’ll show you some of the astounding photos I took in 2013 (photos and videos with others in them are excluded but trust me those photos are awful too).

I thought taking blurry photos was the height of comedy (i still kinda do)
take note of the deep side part
does every girl have a colored mascara phase?
I really wasn’t as ugly as I thought I was
This was my instagram profile photo for over a year.
I think N.O from BTS is playing on the laptop in the background… (I still like that song)
and in this one Voodoo Doll from VIXX is on in the background (no regrets, still holds up)
This was the first photo I ever uploaded to tumblr… Don’t try to find it on there, I deleted that blog

I think someday I’m gonna look back at the way I am now and feel the same gut wrenching horror that I feel when I look through this SD card today, but that’s not gonna stop me from being me for now.

It kinda makes me uncomfortable to see the similarities between 13 year old me and 18 year old me (i.e an undying love of eyeliner and a habit of taking a lot of pictures of myself).

It also makes me sad to be reminded of my mental state during this phase. I remember always feeling like I was reaching for something that I could never grasp. I still feel that way really often. At this age and throughout high school, I felt like I was constantly getting close to getting the approval that I so desperately craved, but it would never come in full. I was the understudy. I was in the background. I was around in case something bad happened to the people that mattered.

I don’t think these feelings of inadequacy will ever go away but at least my braces did.

So thanks for walking down this horrible, unpaved memory lane with me. I hope my braces didn’t gross you out.


Women Can Date Who They Want, I Shouldn’t Have To Say That!

I have to work another 9 and a half hour shift today…!

I’m not excited!

I definitely need to post before going to work because I know 100% that I’m gonna feel awful after working!


Let’s write a post that matters today, because the past few posts have been in my opinion hot garbage.

I saw a post on twitter today that kind of lambasted women for having aesthetic preferences in romantic partners today and it pissed me off a little.

It was basically stating that if your main trait you look for in a partner is intelligence, you can’t have any preferences when it comes to looks because you’ll chase away the actually smart people.

dude, what?

Is it impossible for smart people to look good and this is just my first time hearing about it?

Are we really doing this?

Is this a conversation we need to have?

Well people are having it so I guess that’s what we’re doing now.

OK, I really need to start getting ready so I’m gonna try to get my point across in as concise of a way as possible.

  1. not all smart people are ugly? I thought we knew that?
  2. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to date handsome men
  3. I’m not sure intelligence should be the number one thing you llok for i a romantic partner. What about compatibility? Why aren’t we making that observation?
  4. Being picky can be a good thing because it doesn’t mean you have to wade through the waters of people who are absolutely not your type.
  5. Why do we only have this conversation when it comes to women’s aesthetic preferences? What about all the men who write disgusting things about women with “flaws” as small as stretch marks? Why can’t we write 11 tweet long threads about them?
  6. (I didn’t mention this earlier but the thread also criticised hypergamy.) Who cares if a woman wants to date a rich man? If you aren’t rich it doesn’t affect you!

Ugh, I spent too much time getting distracted in the middle of writing this and it ended up just as bad as my other posts.

I guess we’ll just have to wait for anything good to come out of me for another day.

Bye for now, wish me luck for my 9 1/2 hour shift.


Hurricanes, Gorillaz, and Vaping

Let’s find something to talk about…


On twitter people are talking about

  • Hurricane Florence
  • Paul Manafort
  • Eminem (ew)
  • Kelly Clarkson
  • Justin Bieber & Hailey Baldwin (Who is she? Is she related to Alec Baldwin?)
  • public breastfeeding (again? I thought we all agreed its fine back in like 2016?)
  • farm workers rights
  • statutory rape
  • bikini waxes
  • Amy Winehouse (it’s her birthday)
  • BTS’ new japanese song and the scandal surrounding a songwriter
  • Bebe Rexha (Why are we giving her attention?)

It’s a pretty slow news day I guess.

Everything worthwhile is about the hurricane though so I guess I’ll say something…


I don’t have anything to say about the hurricane.

I’ve never been in a hurricane…

I hope everybody is ok…



This post is dry.




Let’s check…




Gorillaz is trending!?

A new gorillaz video came out??

And noone told me??

Let’s watch it and review and maybe this post won’t be dry anymore.

OK, I have the video pulled up, I have paused my podcast, and I am ready to write.

A review of Tranz by Gorillaz.

  • first thing: noodle has a new hair color (and boobs)
  • this feels like a combination of plastic beach and demon days in tone
  • no murdoc… but a new green dude
  • the video reminds me of feels like we only go backwards by tame impala
  • AAA
  • it ended so quickly!
  • OK, the video is over, lets review
  • I liked the song, I don’t think it’ gonna be a big hit for me personally but I don’t like most upbeat music because I’m a sad sad person
  • the song feels like a bit of a return to form for Gorillaz to me
  • I really liked the keyboard riff about 1/3 of the way through the song
  • I didn’t really listen to the lyrics so I’m not gonna criticize it, I also don’t normally… care about lyrics because I consider the voice an instrument so I honestly don’t care what people have to say. Is that shallow?
  • I liked the way the voice was a little distorted and muffled
  • um.. yeah
  • that’s my review

I’m god awful at reviewing music.

Oh you know something that got to me?

The FDA made a statement that they’re cracking down on vape pen distributors.

I think this is great.

Honestly it terrifies me when I see the people I went to high school with talking about vaping and juuling so much. I swear like 50% of them are obsessed with it. I’m scared they’ll develop nicotine dependencies.

Why do people think this is cool?

It makes you look like a low budget stoner who can’t develop a personality trait outside of blowing smoke.

I don’t hate people who vape in general because I understand that it’s a far better alternative to cigarettes and it helps people beat addictions, but I know so many people who’ve never smoked a cigarette before and spend all their time juuling in their honda civics and it’s pathetic!

Nicotine ruins peoples lives!

People my age have gone their whole lives knowing this!

I hope nobody who vapes as a hobby moves on to smoking real cigarettes.


This post really crosses the whole spectrum of topics doesn’t it.

I guess I’ll end this here.

I may post again later today.

Please follow my blog!



A Review of 2 Drastically Different Songs


I just got back from my daily outing. My mom went to the doctors so I came along.

I probably should have written my post earlier so I wouldn’t have to scramble now just like yesterday. It’s almost like I don’t learn from my mistakes.

I listened to that new Kanye West and Lil Pump song for the first time today…

It was better than I expected.

I thought it would be hot garbage with a Kanye feature but it was actually pretty interesting. I don’t love the repetitive nature of the beginning of Kanye’s part but it fits with the narrative of the song. I think I would’ve loved the song when I was 14 to be honest.

I also discovered a hidden gem in the rap industry last night…

“I Love Bugs” from Yo Gabba Gabba.

Hear me out.

Yes, it’s a Yo Gabba Gabba song,  but the backing track and overall tone of the song is something I’d expect from like Tyler the Creator or maybe even Brockhampton or J-Hope. It’s super good! It’s been stuck in my head all day and I’m honestly super happy that a show marketed to 4 year olds would introduce them to such well produced music!



I guess that’s my post for today.


I forgot to say happy birthday to RM yesterday on his birthday! How dare I!? Anyways, Happy Birthday RM, I know you’ll never read this but I appreciate all you do!


gotta post

*lowercase post ahead*

i don’t really know what to post today…

right now i’m eating some french fries as i type this. i love french fries. you may already know that though.

i went to the psychiatrist today.

i don’t wanna talk about everything we talked about but he supports my plan to increase my risk taking.

i’m hoping to do an audition some time soon, i first have to find a good casting call.

back when i did theatre in high school i always felt underappreciated. i shouldn’t rant about this s as to prevent me from getting tracked down by my high school colleagues though.


tomorrows post will be better i swear.