If I’m being honest, my favorite thing in the world is attention and my favorite thing about my blog is getting attention from it. I love the validation I get from views and likes and comments. Recently, however, my blog hasn’t been getting the amount of views I want and I know it’s because my content isn’t great lately, but I still just wanna shout from the rooftops “read my blog! read my blog! look at me! pay attention!”.
I feel like right now my attempts at gaining an online following are a last ditch effort to achieve my ultimate dream of being famous because I think I’ve missed any opportunity to get what I want organically. I wish I was more assertive when I was a kid about doing auditions and taking dance classes and stuff like that because I feel like I’m miles and miles behind where I should be.
People always talk about how I would’ve hated being a child star but I can’t imagine I would’ve hated it any more that I hated the childhood I had. I felt like I didn’t even exist for my entire adolescence and I’d probably prefer to have felt like I at least mattered.
And as I write this post I can feel the judgement of others coming in that I shouldn’t be so attention seeking and I shouldn’t feel like fame is a good goal and “well *insert celebrity* got famous at 35!” but I want attention now!
It sucks to feel like you don’t matter!
It feels like nobody gives one single f*ck about what I have to say or what I can do!
Not to be conceited but I’m talented and my personality is effervescent!
I feel like 1/3 of my posts end with some resolution about how I’m gonna work even harder and I’m gonna do x y and z to get my goals, but for f*cks sake! I’m gonna get what I want!
I feel like I have no accomplishments and I wanna say that I’m a winner for once. Is that too much to ask?
When I did theater and stuff I felt like I never got any praise and shine and godd*mn it I’m gonna get some d*mn praise!
I always feel like it’s the wrong time to do things and you know what? It’s never gonna be a good time to do anything so I’m gonna be a shameless attention seeker until I get followed by paparazzi.
I hate it when celebrities complain about having no privacy or getting asked for autographs because you know what?
I’d give up just about everything in my life for what they have.
How ungrateful do you have to be to get upset that you’re getting too much attention?
Whatever, I’m gonna be dedicating at least one hour a day from here on to promoting myself and you’re gonna watch me blow up.
So here’s the dumb resolution ending for this post.
I’m gonna be absolutely shameless about promoting myself, I’m gonna be super cunning to get what I want, I’m gonna stop worrying about being called an attention seeker because guess what? That’s exactly what I am.
I don’t necessarily believe in the law of attraction but I think if I say something enough times and I really place all of my focus into something it will hopefully happen. I’m gonna speak it into existence. If you’re reading now, you’ll have the privilege of saying that you know what I was thinking before I made my big break, and when I walk my first red carpet you’ll be able to look at me and say “wow, she really did that.”
So let’s list some things I’m gonna do in my lifetime.
I’m gonna walk the red carpet at the met gala.
I’m gonna have my wedding talked about in tabloids.
I’m gonna get interviewed by Stephen Colbert.
I’m gonna be in Vogue.
I’m gonna be on a japanese variety show.
I’m gonna be the face of a clothing company.
I’m gonna have a concert in the Staples Center.
I’m gonna meet Beyonce.
There’s gonna be a twitter account dedicated to outfits I wear.
I’m gonna be a designers muse.
I’m gonna meet BTS.
People will praise me for my work ethic.
I’ll surprise everyone with my language skills.
I’m gonna stay at the Grand Floridian.
People will love my personality alongside my talent.
So someday, I expect this post to be brought up and people will say “I can’t believe she spoke all that into existence, I’m gonna do it too”.
And I’m gonna be an inspiration.
So I guess now I should say if you wanna see someone ruthlessly do what it takes to get their shine and you wanna hear about the inner workings of me, an attention wh*re, please follow and support my blog! Recommend it to your friends! I’m really interesting when I don’t have writers block, I swear!
I also have a ton of other social media linked on my website so please follow me on those as well because you’re gonna see bigger and better things from me!