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I Threw Up At Work

Ok…

I didn’t post yesterday…

I feel kinda bad about it but also I needed to gather my thoughts and take a moment because ugh.

I threw up at work the other day.

I’ll explain how I got to that point now since that’s so very vague.

So on Thursday I was an anxious mess from the moment I woke up. By the time I was supposed to be at work the anxiety had manifested into shaking and being on the verge of tears. Since I am so painfully shy and have awful social skills, I told nobody. You know, as one does.

When I walked into work I was shocked to see that my least favorite coworker was scheduled with me. I didn’t see her name on the schedule so seeing her face the moment I step through the doors was like seeing a ghost. (I really have to walk on eggshells when describing my distaste for her because while she did put in her 2 weeks notice a week ago, I still may have to work with her and she may read this. Just understand any displeasure I express is multiplied by a factor of at least 5 in my actual mind)

The moment I saw her I was pushed ever so slightly closer to full on crying but I needed money and I try to be professional so I just stayed on the other side of the store from her.

I really don’t wanna blame her for my terrible anxiety or whatever, but she was the last straw. Just a disclaimer.

So I’m doing the whole work thing, carefully monitoring wherever she was so I could always be far away from her. I get about 45 minutes into my shift and she pulls be to the back room and tells me that I’m, dressed unprofessionally. Great.

I just wanna say that I was apparently dressed unprofessionally because of my pants. My khaki palazzo pants. The khaki palazzo pants that I’ve worn to work at least 4 times.

Apparently they’re too sheer.

Am I just such an amazing actress that people can’t tell when I’m on the verge of tears or something, because that is god awful timing. I would never criticize the way someone is dressed when they just arrived somewhere that they can’t leave for 6 hours. Is that me being weird or is that me being rational because I think that’s what any person with empathy would do.

You know what? Screw it.

She says this to me like I’m a f*cking dog and expects me to be fine with it, but I’m not. I think she needs to reevaluate the way she speaks to others.

OK. Mean digression over.

So after she says this to me I go back on the floor to help customers or whatever and I burst into tears after about 10 minutes. Luckily I was just cleaning a display but still.

I just couldn’t handle the environment I was in.

I’m in full panic attack mode and I get super nauseous and I run to the restroom and vomit.

Shoutout to me for not vomiting in the middle of the floor.

Vomiting really helped calm me down but even today I’m still in a really nervous state because I’m scared I’ll get a condescending text from her or something.

I think it might be a really bad idea for me to post this but I haven’t named names and I haven’t even told anyone online where I work so I think I’m in loophole territory.

Ok.

I’ll probably post 2 entries today because I just really needed to get this off of my chest.

 

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beauty

New Hair!

Well…

I cut my hair.

This is probably a pretty annoying post if you follow me on instagram, but if you don’t I just wanna let you know.

So since there isn’t much to say, I’ll give you some photos.

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Holding up what I cut off.

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I’m really really happy with my bangs. I think they’re really cute and they aren’t nearly as intrusive as I expected them to be.

I’m one step closer to being a real life anime character now.

yay!

 

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Let’s Bring Back Blog Awards

OK, lots to talk about.

I’m gonna try to organize this in as easily understandable of a way as is possible.

I want an award.

I’ve mentioned multiple times on this blog that I am a very proud lover of attention. I like when people look at me, I like applause (it was my biggest motivator when I was acting), I like praise, I even like when people stare at me. In fact I would go so far as to say that I love those things.

One thing that I think my attention seeking journey is missing is a laundry list of accolades. I love it when people talk about Beyonce (my absolute idol) and they mention that she’s the third most decorated musician ever.

Well, a fun fact about me is that I’ve never really won anything.

I won a metal for a robot building competition (it was actually 2 metals, but I wanna seem humble) when I was 11 and I have 2 “AP scholar with distinction” awards, but other than that I can’t think of a time that I actually won in a competition. I was never an athlete when I was a kid and I was never a particularly memorable person when I did choir and theatre, so it’s no surprise that I don’t know what winning feels like.

That’s very disheartening though.

I want to feel proud of myself!

So where do blog awards factor into this?

Well, I don’t like to admit it but I was huge fan of Xiaxue when I was a kid. Every day I would read her blog and go through her archives. I even looked through the hate site she made for herself!

But of all of the content Xiaxue has put out in her over 15 years blogging and instagramming and doing whatever she does nowadays, my favorite thing she ever put online was her blog post about the 2011 Nuffnang Asia-Pacific Blog Awards. It seemed so glamorous and so interesting and it seemed like something to really be proud of but above all it seemed approachable. It felt like if you just made a blog and worked hard enough, you could get glory. That was why I started my awful first blog back in 2012 and that attainable glamour is a big motivator when I can’t get out a post on here.

So if you didn’t read all of that, I just really wanna win something for once.

What happened to blog awards?

I don’t really know.

I’ve been meditating on this idea for about a month and a half, and I’ve done quite a bit of research. I found one active blog award situation in Ireland for Irish bloggers so that was disappointing. I also found some “if you get tagged you win and then you have to tag 15 other bloggers” style blog awards but that isn’t what I want.

I don’t wanna win a meaningless award based on the fact that I’m good acquaintances with someone.

I want a popular vote.

 

What are we gonna do about this?

Well, I want to see if anyone would participate in this first.

So here’s my call to action:

If you want to have the chance to win an award or you want to see some of your favorite bloggers possibly win awards, please complete this google form. It’ll take like 2 minutes at the most.

https://goo.gl/forms/PBpZYpVD7lbXUxMU2

If you can’t complete the google form, please like this post to show that you want a real, competitive blog award “ceremony” and/or comment about what you want me to do for this.

I’m thinking I’d like to maybe crowd fund this I can get real trophies made (and maybe give out a small cash prize) and I’ll also make a little thumbnail so you can put it on your blog as a widget? I don’t know I’ll plan more if people actually want to do this. I know I can’t create an actual award show because nobody would fly somewhere for a silly blog award nowadays. If I get really into this I may even use my own money, but that’s not a promise.

This will probably be pretty makeshift, but I think it could be cool.

I really wanna make this happen.

So please fill out my google form!

*authors note: I know this is probably anticlimactic since I’ve been working on it for like 5 days but I had to research blog awards and I’ve even gone so far as to figure out how much it would cost to make a trophy and I’ve looked into crowd funding websites, like I’ve really been putting effort into this concept that might not even happen. So please give me feedback and tell me what you want to come of this. ♡♡♡*

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Revisiting Chrissie

I’m not posting my entry that’s taken a long time today so don’t hype this up. It should *fingers crossed* get posted tomorrow.

I have a youtube channel. I plug it whenever I’m working on a video but for real guys… you can subscribe. I won’t stop you.

Since we’re on the topic of youtube, I’ve been wanting to revisit a post a made right at the beginning of my blog. Most of yu guys probably haven’t read it so here’s a link to the aforementioned post: questioning my blackness

This post is only a few sentences and it was written within the first month of my blog. It’s also very vague and inoffensive.

If you decided to not read my post I’ll sum up the feelings discussed in it.

Basically a youtuber named Chrissie makes a lot of videos about black struggle and colorism, and some of her statements about multiracial people made me reflect on my race. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s revisit Chrissie.

I’ve actually been watching quite a few videos from her and I’ve even subscribed to her channel. I think she has a very important platform and her main point of wanting positive promotion for dark skinned women is a point I not only agree with, but one that I hope to promote in my lifetime.

When I first saw some of her videos I was close to being offended by the way she speaks about multiracial people (specifically part black people), but now I totally get it.

For most of my childhood I felt like people like me were very underrepresented in media, but upon doing further research I’ve realized that my childhood media consumption was basically an echo chamber.

I watched a lot of Disney and in Disney’s huge repertoire, I would be correct to say that until about 2010 there was not really any representation for girls like me (P.S Disney please cast me to voice the first multiracial princes, please please please). The first time I remember seeing myself in a girl on TV was when Zendaya debuted on Shake It Up. I remember seeing Beyonce as a child and comparing our skin tones, but Beyonce always felt otherworldly.

Zendaya however is only 4 years older than me, so she felt like a person I could talk to, while Beyonce felt like someone to worship.

For kids who grew up watching (don’t get mad at me for saying this) “black media”, there we’re quite a few girls who had a similar skin tone and hair type to me and likely a similar genetic makeup. I could even go so far as to say that there were as many or more of them than there were of “fully black”, brown and dark skinned girls. Statistically, that’s super unrealistic. Yes, there are quite a few multiracial people with Zendaya-esque features, but there are definitely more black girls in the world.

And when you analyze the character attributes given to a multiracial girl and compare them to the character attributes given to darn and brown skinned black girls, things get worse.

Think of all the girls in black sitcoms.

How are mixed girls and light skinned black girls portrayed?

  • feminine
  • smart
  • desirable
  • something to care for
  • pretty
  • fully fleshed out
  • kind
  • “bougie” (I hate that word so much)

I saved the only common negative attribute for last becasue we’re gonna do some juxtaposition.

How are brown and dark skinned black girls portrayed?

  • feisty
  • almost always single
  • loud
  • stereotypical
  • masculine
  • insert stereotype (jezebel, sapphire, mammy, etc)
  • strong

This isn’t my opinion on people of different skin tones, this is just analysis of common media portrayals.

Notice how the big traits for lighter skinned women are majority positive whereas the traits for darker skinned people are majority negative?

This is basically the crux of Chrissie’s platform.

Darker skinned girls can be just as feminine, just as beautiful, and just as all around great as even the best light skinned girl. That shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, but it feels refreshing to see a darker skinned girl portrayed positively in most media. It really shouldn’t feel refreshing because there should be that sort of representation in the first place.

After watching quite a few of her videos, and taking off the veil of defensiveness, I’ve realized that Chrissies point of view should be more common. People should all be working toward positive and accurate representation of our various groups and we should support it when other demographics are fighting for their representation.

Also, even if you’re not black and you don’t concern yourself with “black media” you can see similar tropes applied to people of different shades in pretty much every demographic. Think of anime. How often do you see a tan or brown skinned character? Not even a black character, any darker skinned character.

I can probably count on one hand the darker skinned anime characters I know the names of (and I’ve watched a lot of anime in my life).

Actually let’s do it now. I’m gonna name off every tan and dark skinned anime character I can think of.

  • Brock from  Pokemon
  • Ymir from Shingeki no Kyojin
  • Michiko Malandro from Michiko to Hachin
  • Atsuko from Michiko to Hachin
  • Dahlia from Pokemon
  • Isis Ishtar from Yuhgioh
  • Karui from Naruto
  • Mihoshi from Tenchi Muyo
  • I can’t think of anyone else
  • uhhh
  • Orange Blossom from Strawberry Shortcake??? That’s not even an anime!

Like come on? Anime is a huge genre and I’ve seen a ton of it and this is all I’ve got.

And don’t try to argue that there are no tan people because anime is japanese, because A) there are lots of naturally tan japanese people B) especially in the 90’s a lot of japanese people tanned and C) japanese people know what black people are and there are quite a few black people who live in japan and assimilate to the culture. I mean for gods sake, Miss Universe Japan 2015 was half black and Miss Japan 2016 is half indian!

I can do this over an over for like any genre of entertainment. Musical theatre, Kdramas, Opera, Ballet, fantasy, historical dramas, superhero movies, comic books, dolls, dog owners in movies about dogs, like literally anything and the results would be similar.

I, of course, am not going to do that though so consider yourself lucky.

I went off on a roughly 500 word tangent when really what I wanted to discuss was multiracial identity.

For years I have felt very bad about my racial makeup. I felt like a weirdo for most of my young childhood (up to about age 10), then I felt really average and un-extraordinary (up to about 13), then I felt so strongly that I wasn’t “black enough” (up to age 16), and nowadays I feel supremely unaffected. Not necessarily unaffected, I still have some self identity issues, but neutral? I can’t really think of a good word and the thesaurus isn’t helping.

I’ll give a quick overview of how I feel about my race and maybe you’ll catch on to what I mean and why at first Chrissie’s videos slightly offended me.

I feel like my race is probably the least interesting thing about me. I feel really annoyed when I’m lumped in with the multiracial stereotype. I like to imagine that I’m not *ugh* “bougie” (I truly despise that word). Some of my features that I dislike are more associated with certain races (but no race owns really any feature) and a lot of my really defining features are “mixed girl traits”. I don’t love that. I feel like if my self expression were different and I liked Fashion Nova more, I would be pretty indistinguishable from the standard issue multiracial instagram model (not that there’s anything wrong with looking like that). I feel like I often face barriers to entry before I do… most things. From dressing the way I want (“do you wanna be white/asian?” is a rhetorical question I’m often faced with) to listening to the music I like to my hobbies to my future aspirations. When I face racism, it’s a special flavor. Often I find that people who love to say the word n*gger even though some people would beat them up for even saying n*gga are far too comfortable saying it around me. When I speak up for any race I find people asking me “why do you care?” People wonder why I’d care about black people if I’m barely black, why I’d care about white people if I’m barely white, why I care about *insert race here* if I don’t have any ties to them. (hmm, maybe because I have empathy?) I fear that when I try to live out some of my dreams, I’ll be faced with a lot of pushback simply because of how I look (although that’s not 100% a race thing, it’s also a looks/weight/self expression/personality thing). I can continue but honestly I want to be done with this post.

So basically I’m conflicted about my place in the world in many ways. So when Chrissie makes absolutist statements about multiracial people’s place in the world, I feel… put out? shocked? forced to be whatever I’m “supposed to be”? I don’t know. I felt like I was being told what to do.

But after a long time, I’ve come to realize that I don’t necessarily agree with Chrissie’s stratification of race, but I do feel a little comforted when I’m told that I can have my own category. I think that’s where a lot of “mixed angst” can come from. We never get told where we belong and more often that not we’re told to figure it out ourselves. Nobody else has to do that!

So I guess I’m ok with never identifying as black.

I don’t think describing myself as multiracial will cause any new issues in my life and in fact I think it could help with my feelings of nebulousness.

So I guess that’s what I’m gonna do.

If you’re multiracial though, you don’t have to.

You can figure it out yourself.

I guess I’ll say thank you to Chrissie for getting me to really put effort into thinking about my place. I’ll link to her magazine so you can support her or something. Her publication is really a great force in the battle against color discrimination.

Divine Dark Skin Magazine

I think once I start making more money I’m gonna send a donation to her magazine.

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Good News x6

Ok.

I need to get a post out again.

Luckily I’m not on a time crunch today so hopefully this won’t be quite as bad of an entry as yesterdays.

I have a lot of things to say that I think will only give me about 2 paragraphs of content each (maximum) so I’ll give each topic a header.

Good Post Coming Up

I’ve been working on a blog post for about 4 days at this point that I hope you guys will like. I don’t wanna reveal anything about it, but it should be posted tomorrow or the next day. I feel like the post I have brewing will really be a big stepping stone in my blogging career, for real. It should hopefully draw new readers to my blog and make a few fellow bloggers happy. Are you excited yet?

BiscuitsXMonsters Put Up My Picture!

I think I told you guys that they asked me to take some product photos for their online store an well… the photos are up! I feel like a model or something!

Screenshot 2018-10-13 at 02.06.35
Do you see me?
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You should now!

I’ll link to their store since they’re so nice to me: http://biscuitsxmonsters.storenvy.com

P.S you can use my code “dearmikah” for free shipping on their site, I don’t get paid for it so if you hate me don’t worry you won’t pay me for buying some of the cute stuff on there. I genuinely support the brand.

Work Update

As you guys may know, I work at a clothing store. I make a little over minimum wage and I don’t get a ton of hours because I’m part time but guess what…

My boss offered to promote me to a assistant manager!

So I should be getting more hours (I won’t let this get in the way of my writing) and a raise! Alongside getting a title of course.

A manager quit so my store manager wants to fill the space she left. She also asked me if I’m interested in doing visuals for the store and of course I’m into that so…. YAY!

I love this!

Hopefully I’ll be able to put more money toward my blog with my raise so you can have an even better experience!

Republished Article

No, my article I didn’t like hasn’t been edited, but I do have some good freelancing news!

My Seedling Magazine article will be republished on littlegreenseedling.com so you guys can read it without having to download a copy of Seedling! This is to get the word out about the great pieces in Seedling so if you go over there and like what you see, please download their magazine!

I’m not being paid to say this by the way. If I ever have a real sponsored post, I’ll disclose it because I know you guys trust me and I really value that.

I’ll remind you guys of this on the day it’s put up on the website so you can click a link directly to it.

Bangs Update

I still want bangs and I’m still excited to cut them!

Bullet Journal Spread

My bujo spread for this week is both cute and disappointing. It’s Oogie-Boogie themed and I’m not a great freehand artist so my drawing of Oogie isn’t wonderful, but the colors are great. I love my tombow dual brush pens, they’re so vibrant! I used them for almost the whole spread.

P.S I know The Nightmare Before Christmas is a christmas movie, but I love Oogie-Boogie and I think his colors fit better for my halloweentime spreads. I do have plans for a Nightmare Before Christmas themed christmas spread though so if you love that movie like I do, be patient.

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My Oogie-Boogie looks like Patrick from Spongebob got the suds 😦

So yay!

Today’s post feels good to me and I like making positive content sometimes. I’m really not as negative as I seem, I’m just a pessimist– it’s different.

Thank you so much for reading!

Uncategorized

Writing Until I Need To Stop

I work today.

I worked about 9 hours yesterday and I planned to write a blog post during my break but I didn’t.

I’m getting a post out today no matter what it takes though.

I always put “blog before work” on my daily to-do list when I work and I really try my best to check that box off but that didn’t happen yesterday.

Today’s post will be pretty mundane.

I’m pretty tired today.

I’ve been having a really hard time sleeping for the past like 3 nights.

I had a really great idea at like 23:00 the other night and ended up typing for 4 hours and since then my sleep schedule is basically in tatters.

hm…

I really have nothing to say.

This is one of those days when I would normally look for something that upsets me on twitter and then I’d write an 800 word post about it in a standard commentary style but I have about 6 minutes until I need to start getting ready for work.

I’ve been really cold for the past few days.

I think it’ probably because the temperature outside has gone down a little but we haven’t changed the settings on our a/c yet. I don’t wanna sweat my mom out of the house though so I’m not gonna change the temperature. I’ll just wear some of my amazing fuzzy socks from dollar tree.

It was hot at work yesterday though. Even customers who were only in the store for like 10 minutes complained.

I of course was completely covered from head to toe so I was quite warm.

It didn’t help that my hair was down.

I don’t think I’m good at temperature regulation.

I’m very rarely comfortable as far as temperature goes.

Maybe there’s something wrong with me.

AAAAAA

I’ve gone a minute over the time I allotted myself to write so I’m gonna go now.

Thanks for reading!

beauty

Big Decision

A very dramatic title for a very mundane blog post about a very inconsequential decision.

I’ve decided I want to do something for the first time in my life.

Something I’ve always been afraid to do.

Something I associate with abject horror.

 

So what am I making a decision about?

 

 

 

 

 

I want to get a haircut.

Specifically, I think I want bangs.

 

You may be surprised learning that the idea of a haircut causes me to literally get shivers down my spine. You’re likely even more surprised that I’ve never gotten a haircut.

Let me explain.

  • my hair grows very slowly
  • I’ve technically cut my hair before (I cut a chunk off when I was 4)
  • I experienced hair loss when I was in the throes of my ED
  • I used to sometimes pull my hair out when I was younger
  • I don’t trust other people with my hair like at all
  • I’ve dyed my hair quite a bit so my scalp has likely sustained some damage

So in other words it makes sense that I wouldn’t have floor length hair after never getting a haircut in 18 years of life.

My hair is longer than it seems though.

A lot of people with straight hair don’t think about shrinkage, so I tend to surprise people when they find out I have roughly hip length hair. My hair just really scrunches up so it barely passes my shoulders when it’s dry.

 

I love long hair so I don’t wanna lose any length in the main body of my hair, I just maybe wanna trim off a quarter inch.

And then get bangs.

I don’t necessarily want big deal bangs, I don’t want thick heavy bangs like a lot of the girls I know with curly bangs have. I want them to be a bit similar to korean see through bangs so I only wanna cut one thin layer of curls right around my face. Plus I want longer short bits at the side of my face so I can have little hangy-outy bits when I put my hair in a ponytail like white girls do. You know what I’m talking about? You know, the little leave out bits.

Think hime cut, basically.

Bangs and dangly bits.

I’ve taken the time to graciously pin my hair to look like bangs and take an egregious number of photos of myself with fake bangs so you, my beloved readers, can best understand how I want my bangs to look.

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SEE! It’s cute!
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I put my name necklace on backwards so it would read correctly in photos. See how dedicated I am?
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Do you see the dangly bit? Right in front of my ear.
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looks cute with pigtails!
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It even looks cute with this silly sheep hairstyle

 

See? Not so bad right?

When my mom saw my fake bangs pictures, even she admitted they look good.

 

So, since I am a person who comes to regret most things she does. I’ve decided I’ll give myself a few days, about a week, to really meditate on the bangs decision.

Then I’m cutting them.

I’m not sure I trust a hairdresser to give me bangs. I think a straight haired hairdresser may try to cut my hair wet or something whereas a curly haired hairdresser may try to give me the heavy bangs I said I don’t want.

Also I think it would be fun to film myself cutting my hair.

Do anything for content, am I right?

*disclaimer: don’t do anything for content*

I highly doubt that I’ll change my mind since I’ve wanted bangs for like my whole life, but I do have a genuine fear that I’ll come to regret it. With hair that grows as slowly as mine, this is kind of a permanent decision.

I’ve really been rationalizing this quite a bit.

In my mind, my hair looks bad about 6 out of 7 days of the week. So what’s one more day if this goes horribly wrong, right?

So, if you wanna, could you maybe comment and tell me what you think about my possible bangs?

I’d like to know what y’all think.

Uncategorized

I’m considering changing my blog theme.

For my readers who don’t know what I mean by theme, I mean the layout of the website, not the content I put up.

I really like my theme right now but it feel a little… packaged? It feels a bit generic, you know?

I like how easy it is to navigate my website and I like having all the stuff on the sidebar so I want to keep those aspects but I don’t know. I wish I knew how to code so my website could be entirely custom.

You can upload your own theme with the wordpress business plan but I think I’ll need a little more incentive before I spend my paycheck(s) on it.

Hmm…

I’ve considered possibly purchasing the business plan once I’m making more money and then hiring a web designer since I know a little more than nothing about web design.

I am a person who values aesthetics very highly (almost to a fault) so when things I have control over don’t look they way I want them to, it grates highly on me.

So.

Guys.

We need to talk.

 

 

 

THE WINTER SOCKS AT DOLLAR TREE THIS YEAR ARE SO CUTE.

Last year, they were cute but this year… oh my god.

They’re all pink and purple and there are ones with animal faces on the tips!!!!!!

AAAAAAAA

…I bought 9 pairs today.

I should be stocked up on socks for the winter.

 

Oh my god it’s almost 9 and I still haven’t posted.

I started typing this post at 15:00 and I got distracted.

Um…

This is weird.

Thanks for reading?

Uncategorized

I’m Not Gonna Not Post

I have no reason to not post today.

I kinda had no big goals for the day and I had no plans, but here I am. The sun’s almost down and I still haven’t written yet.

But at the same time, here I am, writing a blog entry as we speak.

 

You know what I wish would make a comeback? Cell phone charms.

Do you remember when every phone had a little notch in it to put a charm in? No you can’t find any phone case let alone phone with charm capabilities. My phone case can work around that because there’s a thin bit near where the little flap covers the ringer switch.

So I think with my upcoming paycheck I’m gonna buy this phone charm I found on etsy. I’ll update you on my phone charm journey later.

I’m still kinda flustered about my ruined guest post.

I actually quite liked the article I wrote (until it was posted) but whatever, I got a good number of new views in the past few days.

I think I’m gonna reach my view goal for my blog this month. Last month I was 9 views away 😦

Oooo you know what I’ve discovered?

If you combine pasta with aldi marinara sauce and the aldi vegan mozzarella, it tastes exactly like a stouffers cheese lasagna.

I used to eat those when I was vegetarian and they were a delight so I’m pumped that I’ve been able to replicate the flavor in a dairy free way.

If you have an aldi near you, please buy their vegan stuff. I want them to see the demand and keep producing it because good god that mozzarella and that chocolate ice cream are life changing.

I also like their vegan potstickers and black bean burgers.

I hope they make even more vegan stuff.

Yesterday I went to aldi and I wore a coat and shorts and I could hear the lady behind me lecturing her daughter to never dress like me. haha.

That may be good advice honestly.

I like the way I dress though. I think I stand out in a crowd and my clothes get the point across that I want to get across.

I’ve written over 30 words so I think this entry is sufficient so I’ll sign off here.

Thanks for reading! Bye!

Uncategorized

Frustrated!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Ok, let’s start with a story.

About a week and a half ago I offered to write a guest post for a person in a facebook group with me. He was very courteous and answered any question I had.

After working on my post for 5 days, I sent it in and he was very complimentary. He asked if I’d like to have any links in the post and I asked for my blog to get linked (some of you came to my blog from that link, thanks for that) and a link to my instagram.

That was the end of my interaction.

Note that I wrote this post for free.

I really don’t wanna be mean but I’m upset about how my article has been spun. My introspective, personal piece has been turned into another “how I learned to love my body” sappy mess.

What?

I hate my body!

I wasn’t asked for a bio, so I didn’t expect one but when I looked at the post, my bio is a copy and paste of facts about my pets from my FAQ page! I have a bio on my website! It’s right on the sidebar!

Ugh. I’m just frustrated. I didn’t even get a good picture of me used in the featured photo.

I don’t wanna call anybody out so I won’t be linking to the article and I won’t be naming names but just know I’m a little upset right now.

I’m gonna be a bit more vindictive if I write any more guest posts.

If you’re one of the many people who discovered my blog from this piece, I hope it doesn’t define me for you.

If you’d like to read a piece I’m very proud of, check out Seedling Magazine

I’ll just let this post get buried.