Trying The New Editor Again

Nervous…

I’m hoping that after giving it over a month for bug fixes, the new wordpress editor may be useable.

I’m not super into this, honestly. My opinion on web design is kind of skewed though, because I miss the older days of web design when everything was — for lack of a better word– cluttered.

I like tons of widgets, moving elements, custom cursors, unnecessary design elements (i.e heart shaped buttons and confetti), and music player bars to name just a few of my favorites.

I really don’t like minimalist design most of the time.

As an example, I saw a photo of a house that was renovated and they removed all the personality. The house before renovation was a beautiful blue with iron details and molding around the roof, and after renovation it was all white and sleek lines with no details in sight. It was a box.

Why are people into that? I get super minimalist design with no frills and all function, but these designs seem like they’re going for at least some aesthetic value.

I don’t like sleekness. I like fuzz.

I hope the late 2010’s style fades soon. I don’t like a lot of common aesthetic aspects that I see a lot of now. (not that they’re bad, I just don’t wish to partake) Stuff like smooth minimalist-esque web design, super warm toned photos, pounds upon pounds of cheekbone highlighter, a gallon of lip filler, etc.

I think this editor is working btw.

Good on wordpress for fixing stuff.

Alright, I really need to eat dinner.

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Liveblogging the 2019 Grammys

*Disclaimer: if you don’t like BTS this may not be the post for you, because I’m really only interested in BTS, Gaga, Janelle Monae, Dolly, and Cardi B.*

  • It took me over 40 minutes to find my remote to the TV…
  • Ok, this is gonna be a long night. The red carpet and preshow are 3 hours :/
  • oop. Tierra Whack is here? I love her!?
  • *filler*
  • BTS have arrived.
  • I have started crying.
  • Wow they have RM in glasses… We’ve won, everyone.
  • Now we search twitter for the other red carpet interviews…
  • oh, BTS lost in their category, it’s ok at least they lost to St Vincent. (my 2nd choice)
  • *filler* (btw I’m not saying the people are filler, I’m just putting these in to show a progression of time)
  • DOLLY!!!! I forgot Dolly Parton was coming. God I love her. There are very few people who are as inspiring to me as she is. And she’s still kickin it in the red dress!!
  • Cardi just got out of the car, guys. She looks gorgeous as always.
  • Oh my god they’re interviewing Lady Gaga. She looks so good!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • They keep showing promos for how they’re gonna show La La Land on E……. Gonna have to skip that………..
  • Can I sound dumb for a second? Who is Shawn Mendes? I hear people talk about him and he’s being interviewed right now but…. I’ve never seen a photo of him before and I don’t think I’ve ever heard his music…………… :/
  • Oh god. Joy Villa’s here. Why do they invite her? She’s dressed up as the border wall and has “build the wall” painted on her *ss…………. yikes
  • Yo what? They just showed a guy that looks just like Shawn Mendes and said he’s Charlie Puth? Is there a technical issue or am I just blind? (don’t take my person differentiation seriously though, I can’t tell Hugh Jackman and Robert Downy Junior apart apparently. THEY HAVE THE SAME FACE!!!)
  • I just saw Cardi’s full outfit and I audibly gasped!!!!! Say what you want, but she can turn a look!!!!!!!!
  • And Janelle Monae is turning a look too? I’m not gonna make it.
  • The show just started.
  • They have C****** C****** opening the show? K….
  • Well… the camera work is great.
  • Lele Pons is up there?
  • Well, J Balvin’s doing Mi Gente. A good song. Wish Beyonce could perform her verse…… But we don’t get nice things. Although I don’t know if I’d want Beyonce associated with this opening………..
  • Haha, you wanna hear a funny story? Back when they did the 52nd grammys I thought the said 50 second grammys and I was like “why are they so short?”
  • *gasp* MICHELLE OBAMA!?
  • Jesus Christ Lady Gaga is radiant.
  • They need to warn you when they’re gonna cut to BTS. I just saw Jungkook and screeched.
  • If they cut to Yoongi I’m gonna scream.
  • OK. Shawn Mendes is performing. He’s good.
  • Wait.
  • He looks like a MAGCON boy.
  • I googled it and oh my god, my mind. He was a MAGCON boy!!! Well he moved up, huh? Poor guy had to be around Nash Grier 😦
  • MILEY!?
  • WE STAN FOREVER!
  • I know this is controversial, but I think Miley Cyrus will be considered a legend in the very near future.
  • Please please please give Gaga everything she’s nominated for.
  • Boom.
  • It’s what she deserves. (best pop duo/group performance)
  • Did you know that we stan forever? Just wanted to make sure you know.
  • Ok. Miss Musgraves came to play with the big kids. I can respect a gentle ballad.
  • Lady Gaga’s goin through it. I think she’s gonna cry all night.
  • YES! YES! Janelle Monae!
  • Sorry, I had to just watch.
  • I adore her.
  • Song of the Year: This is America
  • ok
  • not mad, not happy. neutral.
  • Red Hot Chili Peppers and Post Malone?
  • This will probably be genuinely good.
  • It sucks that people always make fun of Post Malone for his looks. I like him quite a bit. I don’t think he’s bad looking either.
  • He’s a good singer.
  • And we have a contender for the best performance of the night.
  • That was great!
  • Oh man.
  • Dolly Parton’s about to perform!!!!!!
  • Katy Perry’s going all out, huh?
  • *audible gasp*
  • C’MON WHITE DRESS!!!!!!!!
  • YES!
  • Jolene, the best country song ever made.
  • J-hope dancing to Dolly Parton is all I ever needed.
  • I’ve started to cry again.
  • love an icon
  • H.E.R is up next
  • Honestly I’ve heard I think 2 of her songs
  • Solid.
  • CARDI!!!!!!!
  • wow. opulence.
  • I love this song, man. (Money) and god she’s hot
  • jeez Offset just made a total creeper face
  • I love Cardi
  • wow, Alicia Keys playing 2 pianos. sickening
  • I forget the name of the guys performing… they’re good though
  • Best Rap Song: God’s Plan
  • sure
  • wonderful speech
  • miss Diana Ross is still astounding at 75 years of age
  • It’s Gaga’s time.
  • I just can’t explain my love.
  • I got distracted
  • Travis Scott is performing now.
  • oh hell yeah, let’s mosh
  • It’s really weird to think about how he has a daughter with Kylie Jenner. They just don’t seem like they’d go together
  • motown tribute.
  • I don’t think I’ve ever heard Jennifer Lopez sing…
  • Like I’ve heard a studio song from her, but never a performance
  • Lot’s of costume changes
  • Ne-yo. Haven’t seen him in a while.
  • aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • MY BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • yay! congrats H.E.R
  • I can’t focus on her though cause BTS are up there…
  • Wow… Taehyung touched that trophy. She could sell that for like 20x the price of another grammy, knowing how crazy BTS fans are.
  • He’s gonna touch another one in the near future…..
  • ooo they’re playing her off
  • I hate it when that happens
  • Brandy Carlisle up next
  • what a nice tone. I love women in country music, honestly. I can’t think of a bad one.
  • ooo fringe
  • my favorite color is fringe – Willam Belli
  • sorry, back to the grammys
  • this is wonderful. I don’t think I’ve seen so much country at the grammys ever.
  • Chloe and Halle are on. They’re great. haunting.
  • Cardi B- best rap album
  • huge shock! I thought it’d go to Mac Miller of Travis Scott. not mad about it though
  • Offset’s all up on her…
  • “maybe I need to start smoking weed” we love a comedian.
  • ok… Offset needs to back up
  • that was sweet.
  • St Vincent and Dua Lipa have matching bobs
  • are they gonna kiss…?
  • aw Alessia Cara and Bob Newhart are cute.
  • yay! Dua Lipa wins best new artist.
  • aw. the in memoriam 😦
  • Aretha Franklin tribute.
  • so much better than her funeral. maybe I shouldn’t rank the tributes to a dead woman, huh?
  • I just love to see Fantasia. She spices up anything.
  • whoa! Yolanda Adams coming through.
  • Song of the year: This is America
  • ok
  • )can I say something privately to you? I really don’t like the song. It’s just not listenable for me, it’s a good concept though.)
  • please please please Dirty Computer for Album of the Year
  • Golden Hour- Kasey Musgraves
  • that’s a big surprise
  • not mad though
  • wow.
  • Now we wait for the BTS post award show live stream.
  • I wont make you read that though.

Thanks for reading if you were able to get through these over 1000 words of nonsense!

ED Recovery Update #15

I haven’t written one of these since October.

I think there’s been a lot of change since then, so I think I’ll try to write this month by month to give it some sort of organization.

November

In November I was very stressed and freaked out. Peanut’s hip issue and my transition to working full time made me emotional.

I tend to deal with stress by shutting down. I go through the motions of life and avoid anything that could upset me. Things that apparently upset me include eating regularly, feeling good about myself, and being fully functional.

So suffice to say I had a bit of a relapse in November.

I tried to force myself to eat at least once a day every day in November, but eating 3 meals wasn’t a daily occurence by a long shot.

December

December was interesting because I seemed to be improving on a surface level (I ate enough) but on an inner level I was stalling.

I think I may have even had a decrease in my ~confidence~.

I definitely wouldn’t put “confident” on a list of my traits, but I can very in levels of self-loathing.

When I was at Disney, I didn’t feel particularly great about myself. It’s tough to be in crowds of people when you’re such an obsessive body-compare-er like myself. It’s weird because I know objectively that my body was very distinctly regular where I was,  but the blinders of self loathing make me block out all the people who are “doing worse” (I know that’s not nice to say) than me. I only see the women who look like they could be cast as Tinker Bell at any given moment and it freaks me out.

p.s I was very surprised at the variety of vegan and vegetarian options at disney. The last time I went it felt like I lived on french fries but this time I got to have an assortment of distinctly different food. Pretty cool.

January

I ate pretty small amounts again. With everything happening (college, work, etc) I relied on my standard coping mechanism. Caloric restriction.

I also got super sick and was throwing up every 45 minutes for like 4 days straight which didn’t help.

Not uber notable.

Now

I’ve been upping my consumption. I’ve gone back to tracking what I eat so that I feel more of an obligation to do it.

I’ve also gone back to stretching to the extent that I used to. I’m so stiff.

So yeah, changes abound.

Hopefully things will be nice soon.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thanks for reading!

The Sanrio Obsession Intensifies

2 of my earliest memories revolve around sanrio.

One of my first memories is watching the hello kitty vhs tapes that my mom bought me on our big 80’s TV, and another is going to the sanrio store and buying this magnet:

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I think it came with a pack of gum too, but the gum is over 10 years old at this point so I don’t have it.

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I was 4 years old when I got this.

I’ve always been weak for sanrio, but recently there’s been an upset.

My life has been completely complicated by one thing:

TOMOTORU

It’s the sanrio mobile game where you can take care of Hello Kitty, My Melody, Cinnamoroll, Pom Pom Purin, and Kerropi and good god I’m obsessed.

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All of these screenshots are from one day.

I’ve become an absolute fiend for this game.

But the biggest thing that’s happened since I’ve started playing it is…

My favorite sanrio character has changed.

I’ve teetered between My Melody (+ My Sweet Piano, they’re a package deal) and Little Twin Stars, but now I’m absolutely certain that my favorite character is:

Cinnamoroll

*audible gasp from the audience*

I know, I know.

Shocking.

I’ve even changed my phone wallpaper.

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I just wanted to let you guys know about this new development.

Thanks for reading!

Making Faces

*warning: gif ahead*

I have I bit of a bad habit in that I make pretty much the same face in every photo.

I really enjoy taking pictures of myself and being photographed, so I’m trying to initiate a change in that habit.

So to start, the other night I did “face practice” for about 40 minutes.

Here’s the photos:

smiling like a first grader, i know it’s unattractive.

+ a few of my regular face for posterity.

*tip so that this post has even the slightest bit of purpose*

in google photos, you can make gifs like this where it’ll rotate through your photos. you can use up to 20 pictures too. i found this out today and i’m gonna abuse it. 🙂

thanks for looking at my face!

Rickety

My bones are not happy with me.

I’ve always had a tough time with my bones. I have to wake up in the middle of the night to change positions so my hips don’t get sore, my joints pop and crack, I’ll often find myself having to do things differently so I won’t feel a grinding sensation in my wrists. It’s kind of a life time situation.

But as of lately it’s been pretty intense. My neck has been in actual pain (not just discomfort) for probably 2 months and my hips have been completely stiff.

I hate it!!!!

I’m gonna try to fix it so maybe I’ll tell you if I find something that helps.

Another short, meaningless post out! Thatnks for reading!

Wanna Cosplay Again + Assorted Images

I used to cosplay when I was younger.

It was mostly bad homestuck cosplay, but I really enjoyed it at the time.

I think I want to get back into it.

I haven’t constructed a costume for myself since I think 2015, s I think it would be cool to see what I can do after so long.

I’ve actually been thinking about this since like October of last year (for all I know I may have already written about it on here).

I have some characters in mind.

I don’t really know what all to say honestly, just wanted to put it out into the ether that that’s something I’m interested in.

I guess I’ll give y’all some photos to make this post less painfully boring.

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wholesome chihuahua content

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this photo looks so stupidly smooth. i kinda hate that.

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i’m #7 in the world at the squirrel feeding mini game in cooking mama so… be proud?