Good Day

Today is so far going according to plan.

I tend to be pretty hesitant of coming up with a time table for my days because things don’t always go according to plan and I believe that the secret to good planning is having contingencies.

Today has had contingencies, but they’re great contingencies!

My big idea for today was to do laundry, study for 3 hours, finally put batteries in my computer mouse, make next weeks bullet journal spread, and take a- as I call it- full shower (a full shower is a shower where I not only do normal shower stuff but also do my less frequent body care stuff like putting on a body mask, dry brushing, doing a hair mask etc etc).

So far I’ve done 2 loads of laundry, studied for 2 and a half hours (I’m on a break as I write this), put batteries in my mouse, and (don’t gasp too loud) cleaned my room. (!!!!!!!!!!!)

My room isn’t as clean as I’d like it to be, but it’s far cleaner than it was so I’m happy.

I’ve decided that over the course of this month I want to do 1 cleaning project on each (or most) of my days off work.

My mom and I are going to go out of town toward the end of December, so I want Angel who’s petsitting to not be mortified.

I’m in a shockingly good mood right now, it’s honestly kind of concerning.

Tomorrow my mom’s gonna get Marshmallow’s ashes…

I don’t know how I’ll react when I get them.

I have a little urn necklace and I have someone who’s willing to put some of the ashes in it for me, so I’ve been able to save myself the grief of that. I think actually seeing the ashes themselves would have ruined me.

God I miss Mel.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about rabbits. Marshmallow really made me love the species. I was so scared that he’d be impersonal, but he turned out to be so affectionate and full of personality traits that just don’t come to mind when most people think of rabbits.

And so…

I’m thinking I’ll adopt another rabbit a little while after I’m settled in to college.

I don’t want to replace Mel, but I just really miss the presence of a herbivore in the home.

I sound like a crazy person when I talk about this; but I really, truly believe that I have a “spiritual” connection with herbivorous animals in general, especially rabbits and cattle. I don’t love to use the word spiritual because I personally associate it with hippy-dippy nonsense, but I can’t think of a less hippy-ish way of saying how I feel. I think herbivores and I just get each other. Like, I remember when my mom and I went to Custer State Park in South Dakota, people were tossing carrots toward the prairie dogs to try to get them to come closer, they just approached me. I think that was an awakening for me.

Since my prairie dog moment, I’ve noticed that all sort of animals like squirrels and such seem to be less tense around me.

I think I have a gift.

Some people have a thick skin, some people have super model proportions, I connect with herbivorous animals.

So who’s the real winner here?

the answer is me

Alright, I’ve gotta get back to studying so I’m headed out.

Thanks for reading!

♡♡♡♡♡

oh! and I realized recently that I haven’t posted any new photos of myself on my blog for quite a while so here’s a picture of me:

img_4909

Advertisements

Please Help Peanut

I never thought I’d have to beg for money on the internet, but Peanut needs this.

Peanut really needs surgery on her hip and neither my mother nor I have the funds to help her.

If you can donate even 1 dollar to help her, that would mean the world to me.

Thank you so much for even looking at this post!

Here’s the link to the gofundme: https://www.gofundme.com/6zfra-save-my-dog&rcid=r01-154160765833-7fc9fc3ffda54e62&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

I want my little guy back.

I’m not in a good place right now.

I’m so, so crushed by Marshmallow’s death so I’ve resigned myself to just studying for as long as I can so I don’t have to think about anything but words.

I can’t even come within like 6 feet of Mel’s hutch because I get nauseous and start shaking when I see his half eaten bags of treats and his half full water bottle.

I’ve been writing half page diary entries recently because I just have so much to say but I don’t wanna say it on here so I haven’t posted and then that makes me feel like a failure because I really take pride in keeping up with my blog.

It feels like everything in life is a catch 22.

My chihuahuas know there’s something wrong with me so they won’t leave my side. It’s so nice to see how much animals can sense my intentions. Mel could always tell I was looking out for him. He only ever bit me once and it was because he missed a dried cranberry I was feeding him.

He was such a tough little dude and it feels awful to know just how fragile he was.

I’ve been drawing more because I can’t get Mel off of my mind, so I’ve been drawing portraits of him.

I hate that my last memory of him is crying over his blanketed body on the floor. I wish my last memory could’ve been me comforting him as he drifts off but instead his last moments were consumed with terror.

I feel so god awful.

I feel so guilty.

I’ve stopped crying every other hour like I did for the past few days and so far I’ve only cried once today.

I can’t wait until I feel the resolve inside myself to go back to normal but right now I’m just ruined.

I’ve been playing BTS in the background of my day today. I never felt a strong connection to Spring Day by BTS but now when hear it I think of Mel. I guess it’s nice to feel a connection.

I don’t know how to end this post.

I don’t know anything right now.

austin trip day 2

hello again from austin. it’s very sunny here.

my room has wonderful lighting so i took a picture of myself the second i woke up because i’m self centered.

img_7773

so yesterday i woke up at about 7 and i did the unthinkable. i showered. i knew we’d not be getting out until a long time from when i woke up so i just took the liberty of showering.

post-shower (and my abridged getting ready process) i kind of just waited to leave until we did at like 11.

this is what i wore and some gratuitous camwhore photos:

img_7770

img_7769
not my best eyeliner application

img_7771img_7772

so the first thing we did for the day was a visit to the austin aquarium. it wasn’t the worlds most impressive aquarium but you can feed the animals so i was very pleased. here’s pictures:

img_7785
anemone
img_7789
blue macaw
img_7800
a hawaiian eel
img_7802
a very friendly ray i fed (rays are my favorite sea creature)

img_7811

img_7805
there was an adorable ray mural that i needed to photograph
img_7807
more cute paint ray
img_7820
my new friend who’s a tortoise
img_7839
another macaw, this time red

we went to cornucopia popcorn on the way to our next visit and i got vegan caramel corn. i’m very excited because i haven’t had flavored popcorn in like 2 years.

next we walked down south congress and visited a few shops and ate at guero’s and got coffee (i got italian soda) at jo’s coffee. guero’s was pretty cool because they actually had more than one vegan option so i had to make a real decision on what to eat for once. i got 2 shirts at a boutique called maya that was having a sale. we also stopped in the impeccable pig (among other stores) and i fell in love with a dress and i really regret not buying it.

img_7840

img_0732
the guero’s menu
img_0733
pictures of the staff in various years (and the fire extinguisher)
img_0734
some decor at the bar
img_7845
my other new friend who is a finch

then we went back to the airbnb because karma wanted to nap before we went on a boat ride to see the bat colony. i’ll be making a separate post about the bats later.