language

Study Log: August 5th-11th

Sunday, August 5th: It was my birthday so I didn’t study.

Monday, August 6th: Korean 40 minutes, Mandarin 10 minutes

Tuesday, August 7th: Japanese 30 minutes, Russian 25 minutes, Korean 45 minutes

Wednesday, August 8th: Korean 30 minutes 

Thursday, August 9th: Swahili 20 minutes

Friday, August 10th: Korean 90 minutes, Japanese 20 minutes, Mandarin 10 minutes

Saturday, August 11th: didn’t study

 

It’s been a while since I posted one of these hasn’t it. I really wanna begin a new study initiative where I’m even more transparent about my habits so I that inspire others to put in their own effort towards gaining knowledge so I’ll go back to posting these. Hopefully on sundays.

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a second post

This is another post where I’m just gonna ramble until I reach I stopping point.

I got a job yesterday! I’m not gonna reveal a ton of detail because I don’t want to reveal too much about my real life and I don’t want any harm to come to my job but I’m so excited!

Today’s my mom’s birthday too so I should probably say happy birthday to her here so…

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

 

I wanna start a travelers notebook so today I began my TN journey because at the craft store, TN inserts were $1.99 for 2! That’s so cheap!!!!

In my  travelers notebook I plan to have a sketchbook, notes, and distilled language notes so I can always have what I need. I really wanna improve my drawing skills so I think a sketchbook in the TN would help me be motivated to work on improving.

Hmm… what else to talk about…

oh, I don’t know if I talked about this before but I filled up my old bullet journal and I started a new one. I’ve decided that this bullet journal will be more artistic and more freeform rather than my boxy methodical style in my last bullet journal.

I changed up my habit tracker a little as well, adding a few new habits (network, wake up before 7:00) and now I fill in the boxes with diagonal lines rather than flat color.

I think today I should focus hard on studying so that I can be sure I’ve gotten in my time before I start my job. So excited!

 

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i was right! again!

if you’re acquainted with hippy twitter or social justice twitter you may have had the displeasure of encountering @*y*n*theor*cle (asterisks added to be nice).

well the other day she made a really top notch tweet and i feel a need to dissect what i believe is the logic behind it.

so what is this tweet i speak of?

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names and faces blocked because i’m so nice

 

so you may wonder why i titled this post the way i did. well i have been mortified every time i see one of her tweets on my timeline for over 4 months. this woman just doesn’t seem like a good person if you go through her twitter and i’ve felt that way for a while and she just so happened to have confirmed my suspicions.

so hahaha i’m right

these spiritual people probably make me more wary than athiest and religious communities ever will because they say absolutely horrible stuff and excuse it under the guise of karmic energy, astrology, and vibes. (for those of you who don’t know, vibes is my least favorite word in the english language)

now, it’s time to unpack the mental gymnastics it takes to actually think of, type out, and post this tweet.

first lets dissect the tweet itself and discuss the elements that make up the concepts discussed.

  • poor people have privilege over people with more money
  • karma is real (i won’t be touching on this one in this post because i don’t want death threats from spiritual people)
  • shoplifting is wrong no matter what
  • people who steal lack consciousness (whatever that means)

 

this tweet obviously is a show of how out of touch this woman is and before i even start to write about this chao chee bye woman just know this isn’t how a usually am, i just really can’t stand her and don’t get how one can support her.

i’ll be elaborating on 2 of my previously mentioned elements: poor people have privilege and shoplifting is always wrong.

 

shoplifting is always wrong

this doesn’t need a ton of elaboration because i am guessing that my audience agrees with me than shoplifting can at times be a neutral action so i’ll just give examples of times when i don’t believe shoplifting is wrong in case the author of the tweet is reading this.

  • a poor woman shoplifting baby formula
  • “looting” necessary supplies during a natural disaster
  • shoplifting medicine
  • stealing mill-bred animals from pet shops in activist demonstrations
  • a malnourished person stealing enough food to allow them to survive
  • stealing animals from factory farms so as to prevent them from living awful lives and being brutally slaughtered

it is important before ending this section of my post that i make sure it’s clear that i did in fact read the tweets and i know that she originally was discussing stealing from self checkout. however she doubled down and said she “pays for her items” implying that she doesn’t only mean stealing in this one circumstance, she means all stealing.

poor people have privilege

this is one of the least thought out statements i’ve ever heard. shocking because i live in america, the place that perfected not thinking.

i’m going to try to look at this from a place of nuance (despite the total lack of nuance in the statement) and assume she means privilege in the common left leaning way that basically means if you have privilege you can still have problems but those problems aren’t because of your privilege. i italicized that because it will be integral in understanding my point of view.

so let’s all imagine the poor have some privilege that we just don’t talk about.

this would mean:

  • starvation and malnourishment are caused by something other than lack of access to food
  • food desserts shouldn’t exist because if the poor have privilege they should be able to get out, right?
  • the poor have greater opportunities than the rich
  • poor people in the “global south” aren’t being actively hurt by side effects of capitalism
  • schools with lower funding offer a benefit to students that higher funding schools don’t have the ability to give
  • etc etc

we all know this is all 胡说 (nonsense/bullsh*t) so how did she think saying this made any sense?

her judgement is clouded because she’s been socially conditioned, of course.

in uber capitalist societies like the US (where i think she’s from) we are taught from a young age that our future is 100% in our hands and if we want to get more money we should just work harder.

this philosophy completely ignores the implicit biases that employers have and the opportunities that lower income children are denied from birth. yet because we live in a society that hinges on people working their fingers to the bone for the lowest price according to cost benefit analysis, people are spoonfed this from the moment they leave the womb. very few people grasp that this “working as hard as you can is the way to succeed” mantra is 胡说! you know why nobody gets it?

social conditioning

so because this mindset is what i believe to be the result of social conditioning i’m gonna stop being so mean and end the post here.

thank you so much for reading this terrible post.

please follow my blog for more (less mean) content!♡♡♡

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it’s so hard to find a good personal blog

when i started my relationship with the internet, it was so easy to find people blogging about their day to day life, opinions, and interests.

nowadays it feels like every blog is carefully crafted to offer articles on a specific topic with well manicured graphics and list formatted tips.

this is not what i love about blogs.

i like to be a fly on the wall and feel like i’m making a connection with the person whose blog i’m reading (that’s why i like foxxy fay’s blog so much). it was as though every interesting person was making content online pertaining to their interestingness.

it’s the same with youtube, now almost everyone makes videos that are high definition with nice backgrounds and no missteps in speech.

now, i’m not usually one to spout “get back to the good old days” rhetoric but there is a very vocal part of me that wants to get back to the good old days of blogging when everything felt more personal.

so i guess i’ll end this post with a call to action:

if you’re a blogger maybe make a personal post and send me a link to it or if you don’t do personal blog posts whatsoever and you know a good personal blog send me a link to that.

you don’t even have to send me a link if you don’t want to but i do want to encourage others to make more personal blog posts because i swear there are people out there who want to get to know you.

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health is not a moral virtue

tw: eating disorders, discussion of weight loss, discussion of body shaming

not to try to be a psychiatrist or anything but i have a theory:

maybe if we weren’t terrible to fat people, fewer people would develop eating disorders.

super original concept right?

this post is motivated by the “Insatiable” trailer that so many people all over the internet are upset because of and rightfully so

if you haven’t seen the trailer, don’t worry. it’s every other story about a fat person losing weight by unhealthy means (in this case getting her jaw wired shut) and then finally being happy and getting revenge.

i’m not going to be writing specifically about the trailer but rather about my personal life philosophy.

let’s discuss beauty standards, shall we? *i’m still sitting in a chair like a youth minister*

i’m of the belief that rather than expanding beauty standards we should abolish them. i also am a person who is mildly annoyed by overuse of the term beauty standards but that’s a topic for another post.

when i say abolish i don’t necessarily want to insinuate that the persuit of perceived beauty is morally bankrupt or anything, just that beauty shouldn’t be a factor in measuring ones value, ya know?

anyone who has lived in a place where you can consume media (you’re probably one of them because you’re reading this) may have noticed the pressure on everyone to “lose weight for summer” “tone up” “eat for your blood type” and my personal favorite “lose those last 5 pounds”. it’s never the last 5 pounds. once you lose them you wanna lose 10 more.

i mention the pressure to lose weight or as it’s known colloquially “diet culture” to note how beauty standards can lead to palpable pressure being put onto others to change.

i know that this post is very obvious so far, i’m getting somewhere.

this pressure manifests in a very insidious manner, especially recently.

BE HEALTHY

DO KETO

GAIN MUSCLE NOT FAT

60 CALORIE BREAD

LISS AND HIIT

EAT CAULIFLOWER RICE

do any of these ring a bell?

now, i’m not one to discourage a healthy lifestyle. my favorite food is literally oatmeal, i’m pretty healthy.

what i find disgusting is the implication that ones health is morally righteous.

as though people with high blood pressure can’t volunteer.

another important thing to note is that when people treat health as a moral virtue they only seem to direct their criticism toward fat people rather than extending their opinion to the reasonable end in which they would (in order to not be hypocritical) have to make similar statements toward those with say… STDs.

this oversight is clear proof that these people who say anyone over roughly a size 12 shouldn’t post photos online out of fear of “glorifying obesity” don’t genuinely care about health because they’d say we shouldn’t allow activists with an STD platform to speak out of fear of “glorifying illness”.

i’m gonna stop with the gotcha and discuss some statistics and lived experiences so if by chance a body shamer is reading this post i may change their mind.

in my life i have always been a larger kid, taller and never the thinnest in the room.

i now have a restrictive eating disorder.

this is no surprise because:

  • 30-50% of ED patients suffered depression and/or anxiety prior to the ED
  • About 1 in 3 ED patients suffered previous obsessive compulsive symptoms
  • 89% of girls have dieted by age 17
  • 15% of young women have disordered eating
  • 42% of girls in grades 1-3 want to lose weight
  • 45% of boys and girls in grades 3-6 want to be thinner
  • 51% of 9 and 10 year old girls say they feel better about themselves when they are dieting
  • 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat
  • 9% of nine year olds have vomited to lose weight
  • The rate of death for women with ED is 12 times higher than other women of similar ages
  • About 1,000 women die each year from ED due to malnutrition, heart attack and suicide

these stats are taken from the body image center, who got their stats from ABC news and nationaleatingdisorders.org

i don’t believe that it is righteous to require statistics in order to treat others better but i have a sneaking suspicion that these people don’t care all too much about how others feel.

your health does not make you a morally better person and losing weight does not increase your moral weight.

this post is cluttered like every other post on my blog but i hope you get the point. i also hope this post isn’t upsetting for my followers with EDs. 

travel

virginia trip day 7

this is the day i left.

in the morning we went on a dolphin boat tour.

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we were surprised to learn that the boat ride was supposed to be a “thrilling” ride so we took motion sickness pills and then got on. it should’ve alerted us that it would be fast and “thrilling” when we saw the name “OC Rocket”.

i expected to maybe see 3 dolphins but i think we saw at least 8!

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there were even babies out ♡♡♡

after going on the boat i was drenched since i sat on the edge so i rinsed off and then we drove 3 hours from ocean city back to virginia.

there we had one last meal at CAVA and then took off for the airport.

i studied at the terminal and then we took the plane ride home. i did some japanese and mandarin study on the plane and watched John Mulaneys “Kid Gorgeous at Radio City”. i pissed off the girl sitting in front of me with my laughing.

we got home at about 11:30.

i wish i could show you how happy my pets were to see me but i don’t wanna film moments like that. the best part of going on vacation is coming back and seeing your pets.

that was too sappy. yawn.

stupid post coming soon.

travel

virginia trip day 5

today was a pretty low maintenance day. we went to the beach for the morning, walked down the boardwalk, then went home to relax.

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famous thrashers fries. you can’t eat them with ketchup

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i think i’m coming down with something. i’ve had a bad cough and a pressure headache all day. 😦

travel

virginia trip day 4

this day we drove from virginia to ocean city, maryland.

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the drive was about 3 hours and when we got there we dropped our stuff of at the beach house and then went to the boardwalk.

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so many beach umbrellas

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we ate at the frog bar (i got french fries) and then shopped at a few stores on the boardwalk. i bought some earrings and a shot glass for my collection.

we let the boardwalk to hang out at the house where i took a nap and in the evening we went to food lion to get some groceries.

guess what…

they had my favorite vegan mac and cheese!

after going to the food lion we just went back to the house and i immediately went to sleep.

sorry i didn’t post yesterday, the wifi was spotty but i’ll be posting twice today.

travel

virginia trip day 1

i woke up at 2:30 today.

i was so excited/nervous that i couldn’t go back to sleep when i did my inevitable 2AM wake up. i double checked my suitcase and put my electronics into their chosen spaces and waited for my mom to be ready to leave for the airport.

we drove out and got to the airport at 7:15.

our departure was at 9:45.

i believe that arriving early to the airport is an absolute necessity. i may have a fear of flying but my fear of being late is worse.

so we went through the TSA and i got to show my ID for the first time.

then we waited at the gate for a little over an hour.

i did a small exploration of the airport while my mom watched our bags and i discovered our airport has a paciugo!!!!

i love cold shit!!!!!!

then it was the time.

it was 9:15.

we boarded the flight.

i took a selfie (of course)

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and the plane took off.

i made an attempt at napping but was immediately distracted by the snacks they brought out including the tiniest cutest pretzels ever!

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i watched a few stand up specials “Private School Negro” by W. Kamau Bell, “Nanette” by Hannah Gadsby, and “Hard Knock Wife” by Ali Wong.

and we were done.

of course i sporadically stopped my viewing to take pictures of clouds for you. here they are:

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while getting off the plane and receiving my carryon i broke the hell out of my right thumb nail.

we waited at the luggage carousel and i took pictures. duh.

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we were picked up by my moms friend, Colette, and we went to the place i’d been waiting to go to for over a year. CAVA.

i didn’t take any pictures of my food because i’m not that weird but i will tell you it was wonderful.

we then dropped our luggage off at Colette house and then went off to go swimsuit shopping for me. my old swimsuit doesn’t fit right so i needed a new one.

we also bought a bunch of food and household stuff at target alongside my swimsuit and now i’m at the house writing this.

these travel posts are hard to write because it is absolutely impossible to make life sound interesting via text if you’re uncreative like me.

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not much to say

it feels like i don’t have anything to write about right now.

my blog is so jumbled and about everything yet i still have nothing to write about that i feel belongs on here.

i guess i’ll make a bulleted list because those always help me write something

  • i’ve been enjoying my walks a lot but i think there’s something wrong with my gait because my left shin always hurts half way through the walk
  • my middle splits have gotten deeper. i think it’s because i warm up better before stretching
  • i changed the way i do my eyeliner on my lower lashline. i leave a little space in the outer corner between my waterline and my eyeliner
  • the mint in our front yard is getting giant
  • i have an ameba account now if that matters to you (mikahvictoria)
  • i played the disney tsum tsum app for the first time in a few months this morning and i love it just as much as i always did (i got a moana tsum today!)
  • my mom and i are going on a trip to virginia to see her friend in less than a week
  • i’ve been craving falafel for like 3 weeks. it’s nice to get cravings. i kinda never did for a few years when my ed was worse
  • i think i’ve lost weight because i tried on my jeans a few days ago and they’re looser
  • marshallow got a new bowl that’s bigger and he seems happy to eat more
  • i accidentally ordered 10 bars of mango ice cream scented soap ( i thought it was 4 bars) but i’m happ because that just means it’s less money per bar
  • i have a new cursor on my blog. do you like it?
  • i really like the new habits i’ve added to my habit tracker. it makes filling in the squares less mundane.
  • my japanese skills have improved exponentially in just the past week since i’ve put more focus into the language
  • duolingo changed the way the spanish tree works so if i want to maintain my finished status i have to do like 15 lessons again
  • i have just a few more lessons until i’ve finished the korean, japanese, and swahili trees on duolingo
  • i changed my instagram bio (@dearmikah)
  • i’ve been getting more blog views from ukraine. hi ukraine!
  • i’ve been really insecure about my jaw line recently. i feel like it’s gotten a lot bigger over the years.
  • i’ve been understanding articles on naver better recently so i guess my reading comprehension in korean is improving
  • my dress should arrive between today and the 23rd. that’s a wide margin but it doesn’t matter because i’m so excited

 

yeah.

is that good content?

i think that’s a good amount of stuff to write for a day.

here’s a picture of poptart sleeping

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stickers added in line camera (he’s shy he doesn’t want you to see his ween)