I haven’t written anything about my inner workings in a while. I’ve written about stuff I did and existential terror, but nothing super mundane.
So I’m just going to write in a semi-stream-of-conscience style until I’m worn out.
I’m a few weeks into college. I don’t like it honestly, no surprise there. I don’t feel much motivation in general right now. I feel like I’m waiting for something, but I don’t know what that something is. It’s like when you’re sick and you say you’ll d something when you feel better, but right now I feel fine yet I’m not doing much.
I’m doing what I need to get by, but I don’t think anything in my life is progressing.
I’ll write on that more in the near future.
My bullet journal is almost full.
Um… Not much else to say about it.
Posh and Samoa have been annoying me. They’ve developed a habit of scream-barking at me whenever I’m standing. If I’m sitting on the couch or my mom’s bed they’re fine (I use the term fine extremely loosely), but if I’m walking down the hallway or cooking in the kitchen they bark like they’re being tortured.
Did I tell everyone that Samoa got neutered? I think I did. I hope he chills out once he’s less hormonal. He’s so… intense. He’s pushy and mean and he doesn’t understand that we don’t want him to bite at our faces. Let’s cross our fingers, I guess.
I was planning on not talking about this until it’s finalized, but I’m sick of being secretive.
I quit my job.
So where does that leave me?
Well, I’m going to take a while before getting back to work so that I can adjust fully to college and hopefully find some margin of fulfillment in my life. As one does.
I’m thinking I’ll spend February focusing on self improvement and getting my life together.
I can’t figure out what it was in my life that was going well at that time, but back in September I felt like my life was improving all around. I’m trying to reflect and hopefully replicate that.
I’m kind of in a weird space where I don’t feel like anything is happening, yet I’m expectant of something. Sometimes it’s the times when you don’t feel change that change is happening, though so I’ll hold out.
I’ll make a dedicated post about this later, but I’m hoping to gain some momentum.
I’m running out of steam, so I’ll leave you guys with a picture of Peanut.