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what i ate on July 2nd, 2018

note: i am in recovery from an ed and i’m vegan so my meals will reflect that breakfast: oatmeal with peanut butter (3/4 cup rolled oats, 1 tsp brown sugar, 2 tbsp peanut butter) snack: sourdough toast lunch: red lentil and spinach salad with balsamic vinaigrette + a granny smith apple dinner: marinated tofu and…

ED recovery update #9

i really wanna relapse. it’s so hard to feel good about yourself when you feel like you have no self control.i’m very aware of the fact that me eating at all is control oriented because if i really had no control i would starve. i have one really good motivator for not relapsing though… i…

ED recovery update #8

i’ve been having some ED thoughts and urges but not a ton. my biggest urge currently  is to delay meals. like when i’m due to have a meal i often find myself thinking “i can wait another 30 minutes”. recently i’ve been having snacks which is new. they’ve been very low calorie (i know i…

things i eat

i thought maybe since the original point of this blog was ED stuff, i should probably write an ED themed post, right? so i’m gonna tell you some foods i eat that i don’t get repulsed by after eating them twice in a week. *disclaimer* i’m vegan and i tend to eat higher calorie meals…

ED Recovery Update #7

i’ve been having a lot of restrictive urges lately and i’ve been able to prevent myself from acting on them with something that used to encourage them: myfitnesspal for years (2012-2016) i used myfitnesspal as a restriction tool, i would follow the plan where you’re allotted 1200 calories each day and i’d always aim for…

feeling gross in more ways than one

this morning upon waking up i immediately vomited. so i didn’t go to school (probably will tomorrow though). i feel disgusting in physical ways like having a headache, being nauseous, and inexplicably sweating but i also feel disgusting in my body right now. today it’s been hard to force myself to eat. i’ve still managed…

new development: cravings

*tell me if you like the center alignment in the comments* i get cravings now. they’re mainly for anything garlic and/or bread. you may have noticed an abnormality in a post i posted about a week and a half ago that i craved sourdough bread. that’s not a super new thing, i got occasional cravings…