Welcome to December

It’s December 1st!

December’s one of my favorite months and I’m very excited about winter.

I’m gonna pretty much verbally process this upcoming month for the duration of this entry.

today

I had a very specific plan set out for today when I woke up… Today did not go according to plan.

I had to go to work today even though I wasn’t scheduled because I had to call in the other day and I needed to make up my hours. I expected to work for 2 hours and then come home and really focus on studying, but another girl called in so I ended up working about 5 hours so nobody else would be screwed over.

I’m hoping to get in a good study session after I’m done writing, though.

#1 goal for December

I feel like in November, for the majority of the month I wasn’t juggling life well (as shown by my lack of blog posts). I’ve pretty much stagnated in language study, I’ve been sleeping really irregularly, and I’ve kinda taken my eye off of the prize.

For December, I’m hoping to be a bit more balanced in my lifestyle.

For about the past week I’ve gotten a little bit closer to my “normal”. I’ve been stretching more, I’ve studied more, I’ve slept earlier, and at least I’ve blogged some.

During December I’m gonna try to will myself into doing stuff even when I feel no motivation. Let’s see how that goes.

other December goals

  • get ready for college (orientation and stuff…)
  • save $200
  • post at least 25 blog entries
  • get back into taking pictures
  • post said pictures on instagram
  • drivers ed (eek)
  • write in my diary at least 4 times per week
  • fill out my habit tracker at the end of every day

 

hyping myself up

I just got sent my work schedule for this upcoming week.

It’s not too brutal. I do have more days closing the store than I prefer, but whatever. I’m hoping to not have anything derail me for this week/month, so wish me luck.

I don’t really have much else to say so…

Thank you for reading!

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The Downside of Goal Setting

The downside of setting specific goals for something like monthly blog views is that the ability to reach my goal depends almost entirely on others.

I can’t trust strangers on the internet to place value on helping me reach my arbitrary goals that don’t do anything of value for them.

My goal for this passing week was to reach 420 blog views as a step to ultimately reach my 560 blog view goal. I’m at about 330 views.

I have been getting fewer views than I prefer lately and it’s kind of upsetting.

It makes me question myself.

Am I boring?

Has the novelty of my blog worn off?

Does nobody care about me?

I think I’m getting fewer views because it’s fall and people are back to school and people have fall television to distract themselves with so my blog is on the back burner.

Ugh, it sucks to not meet goals.

I have a sneaking suspicion that a swarm of people aren’t going to find my blog and give it traffic so I don’t think I’ll be reaching my monthly views goal. 😦

At least I’ve met most of my other ones though.

Here’s a picture of me for the road:

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hugging my flamingo

Organization for October

What’s up duderinos.

I feel an urge to post twice today because my first entry of the day was just photos, so…

Here’s some words.

I guess I’ll give an update on my life organization stuff since a lot of people are interested in that concept.

My Bullet Journal

I worked on my October setup in my bullet journal today and I kinda like how it’s coming along. I’ve been focusing more on aesthetics in my new bullet journal so I really try to embellish my monthly setups and my weekly spreads.

My October theme is of course halloween. I kinda wanted to do a fruit theme but I love my skeleton washi tape and I think it would be pretty tough to incorporate a skeleton into a watermelon themed weekly spread, you know?

If there’s one thing you may need to know about me in regards to my bullet journaling, it’s that I’m particularly mediocre at drawing so my doodles and hand drawn embellishments are pretty rough.

I’ve added a few new things to my monthly habit tracker at the expense of other habits that I just wasn’t benefiting from tracking. So now “study Swahili” is in the place of “fill up humidifier” and network” took the place of something I forgot that was in my old bullet journal. Networking to me is stuff like commenting and emailing other bloggers, taking part in facebook threads, and pitching guest posts if you were wondering.

My Traveler’s Notebook

I really think I’m benefiting from my foreign language journal in my TN, but I always forget to write in it! I maybe should have added that to my habit tracker, but I didn’t have anything else to remove. 😦 I also like having a dedicated diary. It makes my weekly spreads less cramped. My et cetera notebook has been given a purpose as a planning and goals notebook where I work on the small steps to reaching longer term goals.

I also added some cute stickers in my folder.

My Planner

It’s kinda nice to have a big, stratified planner. I like having it on my desk to release the concepts and timetables from my mind onto paper. I think it’s decreasing my stress to not have to remember everything.

 

Goals (hold me accountable)

I have a few goals for October I think are safe to release into the public so here’s a few:

  • post 6 youtube videos (aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA)
  • send in my college application before the priority deadline
  • write at least 20 entries in my diary
  • post all of my october bullet journal weekly spreads
  • reach 10 youtube subscribers
  • email 2 publications
  • take more pictures of Peanut and Poptart
  • do a good photoshoot for Maddie
  • save at least 30 dollars

The rest of my goals, I’ll keep private unless another goal comes to mind that I want to tell y’all.

So thanks for reading, maybe this gave you ideas for organizing and planning. I’ll try to make good on all of my goals and if you see me slacking, yell at me.

Memoirs of an Attention Seeker

If I’m being honest, my favorite thing in the world is attention and my favorite thing about my blog is getting attention from it. I love the validation I get from views and likes and comments. Recently, however, my blog hasn’t been getting the amount of views I want and I know it’s because my content isn’t great lately, but I still just wanna shout from the rooftops “read my blog! read my blog! look at me! pay attention!”.

I feel like right now my attempts at gaining an online following are a last ditch effort to achieve my ultimate dream of being famous because I think I’ve missed any opportunity to get what I want organically. I wish I was more assertive when I was a kid about doing auditions and taking dance classes and stuff like that because I feel like I’m miles and miles behind where I should be.

People always talk about how I would’ve hated being a child star but I can’t imagine I would’ve hated it any more that I hated the childhood I had. I felt like I didn’t even exist for my entire adolescence and I’d probably prefer to have felt like I at least mattered.

And as I write this post I can feel the judgement of others coming in that I shouldn’t be so attention seeking and I shouldn’t feel like fame is a good goal and “well *insert celebrity* got famous at 35!” but I want attention now!

It sucks to feel like you don’t matter!

It feels like nobody gives one single f*ck about what I have to say or what I can do!

Not to be conceited but I’m talented and my personality is effervescent!

I feel like 1/3 of my posts end with some resolution about how I’m gonna work even harder and I’m gonna do x y and z to get my goals, but for f*cks sake! I’m gonna get what I want!

I feel like I have no accomplishments and I wanna say that I’m a winner for once. Is that too much to ask?

When I did theater and stuff I felt like I never got any praise and shine and godd*mn it I’m gonna get some d*mn praise!

I always feel like it’s the wrong time to do things and you know what? It’s never gonna be a good time to do anything so I’m gonna be a shameless attention seeker until I get followed by paparazzi.

I hate it when celebrities complain about having no privacy or getting asked for autographs because you know what?

I’d give up just about everything in my life for what they have.

How ungrateful do you have to be to get upset that you’re getting too much attention?

Whatever, I’m gonna be dedicating at least one hour a day from here on to promoting myself and you’re gonna watch me blow up.

So here’s the dumb resolution ending for this post.

I’m gonna be absolutely shameless about promoting myself, I’m gonna be super cunning to get what I want, I’m gonna stop worrying about being called an attention seeker because guess what? That’s exactly what I am.

I don’t necessarily believe in the law of attraction but I think if I say something enough times and I really place all of my focus into something it will hopefully happen. I’m gonna speak it into existence. If you’re reading now, you’ll have the privilege of saying that you know what I was thinking before I made my big break, and when I walk my first red carpet you’ll be able to look at me and say “wow, she really did that.”

So let’s list some things I’m gonna do in my lifetime.

I’m gonna walk the red carpet at the met gala.

I’m gonna have my wedding talked about in tabloids.

I’m gonna get interviewed by Stephen Colbert.

I’m gonna be in Vogue.

I’m gonna be on a japanese variety show.

I’m gonna be the face of a clothing company.

I’m gonna have a concert in the Staples Center.

I’m gonna meet Beyonce.

There’s gonna be a twitter account dedicated to outfits I wear.

I’m gonna be a designers muse.

I’m gonna meet BTS.

People will praise me for my work ethic.

I’ll surprise everyone with my language skills.

I’m gonna stay at the Grand Floridian.

People will love my personality alongside my talent.

So someday, I expect this post to be brought up and people will say “I can’t believe she spoke all that into existence, I’m gonna do it too”.

And I’m gonna be an inspiration.

 

So I guess now I should say if you wanna see someone ruthlessly do what it takes to get their shine and you wanna hear about the inner workings of me, an attention wh*re, please follow and support my blog! Recommend it to your friends! I’m really interesting when I don’t have writers block, I swear!

I also have a ton of other social media linked on my website so please follow me on those as well because you’re gonna see bigger and better things from me!