ugh

I really feel a need to write a post right now but I don’t have a topic in mind.

I kinda just want to end November on a good note.

I don’t know if this is a problem for other bloggers but with the new wordpress editor, I have a really tough time publishing entries and saving drafts.

It feels like every time I want to do anything, I’m met with an “updating failed” notification.

But I don’t want to dwell on that too much.

Today I finished my mandarin textbook!

I’m really proud of myself.

I’m trying to better incorporate studying into my life with work and stuff. I was really on a roll in spring and summer but it feels like I’ve stagnated across the board since about October. It even feels like my Korean ability has declined! UUUUUUUUUGH

I’m quite worried about how beginning college will affect my lifestyle.

I really don’t want to start college and become- for lack of a better word- worse.

I don’t want to be mean but I know a lot of people in college right now and they’ve taken up drug/alcohol/vaping habits or they seem to have made campus life their livelihood.

I may sound pompous when I say this, but I’ve always considered myself to be above my surroundings.

Not that I think I’m above my peers or something, but I think there’s far more to me than my job or whatever. And I’m certain that most people feel the same way, but I’m scared for myself.

It’s probably a rare fear to think that pursuing “higher education” could drag you down, but that’s what my mind says.

I don’t want the next 4 years of my life to be a time of no improvement. I’m sure there will be personal growth for myself and I’m sure big things will happen to me, but I would personally like to exit college with something to do.

I know it’s a bit of a downer, but nowadays a lot of people exit college and have to go right back into minimum wage labor.

God, I’m so scared.

It feels like every time I do something in regards to college, I regret it about 14 hours later.

I’m scared that at my orientation I’m gonna just burst into tears the second anybody asks me a question.

I’m going to bed.

You know what?

No I’m not.

This new wordpress editor is awful!

I can’t publish anything!

I have had to copy and paste entire posts multiple times into the old editor just so they’ll publish on my blog. The new editor doesn’t even do it’s most basic job.

I’m very pissed off.

Leaving now.

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