Vomiting Up Water

Oh…

It’s been a few days, hasn’t it.

Well I’ve had an eventful time.


Monday was my first day of college.

I started my time off right by showing up to my first class 12 minutes late, so that’s great.

Samoa also got neutered on Monday.

Not a ton happened, but it was just generally draining.

Then on Tuesday I had another day of classes, also soul crushing, but Tuesday began my great saga of vomit.

Between my second and third class of the day, I had to rush to the bathroom to vomit.

So that was cool.

And then in the afternoon on Wednesday I began a wonderful pattern of vomiting roughly every 45 minutes.

Yesterday I went to CareNow and they say I have some unspecified virus so now I’m just sitting around. I think I’m gonna try to do homework ahead of time or something but I don’t know.

I wasn’t able to keep down water until like noon yesterday but I’ve only puked twice since then so… me: 1 unspecified virus: 0

I don’t know, I’m having a hard time forming thoughts.

I’ll write on here again some other time.

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I’m A Walking Fever Dream

Welp.

I have a fever.

I think I’ve written a post while I had a fever before, right?

Who am I kidding, none of you would be able to recall something so specific.

I have a morbid fascination with fevers and illness in general.

I think it’s because I used to hang out at the hospital a lot when I was a little kid. For a while when my mom worked nights and I was too young to be alone, she would find an empty hospital room and I’d sleep at the hospital then she’d drop me off at school the next morning. I always really liked the hospital. I like how the beds are adjustable, and the color of the lights, and that the bathroom was connected to the room, and how hospitals smell. I don’t know how to explain the hospital scent. It’s just nice I guess.

I still really like visiting the hospital when my mom has to do some sort of errand up there.

I like to look at those “medicalcore” pictures on tumblr quite a bit. In fact I’m pretty sure my most popular post on tumblr is a picture of the wall in the ER room I stayed in when I got pneumonia. I still get a handful of likes on it every week and it’s over 4 months old.

It’s cool to have a log of your thoughts that you can go back to whenever you feel like it. Sometimes I’ll be feeling/doing something and the first thing that comes to mind is how great of a blog post this could be.

That’s what led to me writing right now.

I feel completely delirious, and I can imagine that anything I write right now could potentially be entertaining.

I always describe things as “feeling like a fever dream” and right now, my existence feels like a fever dream.

I think I may have more than an infection. I never get fevers when I have a sinus infection.

Whatever, hopefully the antibiotics take care of it.

 

 

Haha.

I just thought of this gif I saved.

Take a look at it.

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God, my sense of humor is ridiculous.

I’m gonna end this entry now.

Late Christmas Entry

I wish I wrote a Christmas post, but honestly I didn’t feel good enough to do anything yesterday.

I just got back home from the doctors office and I have a sinus infection, a respiratory infection, and costochondritis!

woo hoo!

Love that for me!

I guess since I’m not supposed to go to work and I have the day to myself, I’ll write an all encompassing Christmas post.

I’m Back Home

So as you may have noticed, I was out of town with my dad’s section of the family for a few days.

I’m home now.

It was nice meeting everyone.

I expected there to be a lot of arguing, because that’s what I’ve seem happen on TV whenever a bunch of related people see each other around Christmas. That didn’t happen, so that was cool.

I don’t have much to say.

Christmas Day

I don’t think I’ve mentioned it before, but every Christmas day my mom and I go to the movie theater and see a movie.

This year we saw Mary Poppins Returns and Vice.

It was probably irresponsible for us to go to the movie theater when I’m sick, but… No turning back now I guess.

Mary Poppins was amazing!

The second animation sequence was so astounding, it makes me sad that I’ll probably never see something so cool again. I think not only did they do the original Mary Poppins justice, this movie (in my opinion) is as good as the original.

And Vice was amazing too!

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie where I wasn’t bored for even a single second, but Vice did that.

I don’t think people who aren’t interested in politics would like Vice though.

Also, I got to see the Us trailer for the first time in a theater. That’s so cool!

When we left the theater and I looked on twitter everyone was talking about it and I felt so special having seen it on a big screen the first time.

Weird aside, but have you noticed a few people online talking about how rabbits scare them in response to the Us trailer? That’s so weak. They’re rabbits….

It’s like how people are just mortified by rats… like… why?

Maybe I’m just too in tune with animals to be scared.

I’m just too Pocahontas-y.

Announcement

Well…

There’s gonna be some interesting posts on my blog coming up…

(i’m not pregnant don’t worry)

My mom and I are going to Disney World!

We’ve been planning this for a long time and I’m super excited!!

I’m gonna do everything in my power to take as many pictures as I can and put them all up on my blog quickly!

So excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that’s about it…

I may write on here again today, who knows.

I’ll see you all later though.

Please Help Peanut

I never thought I’d have to beg for money on the internet, but Peanut needs this.

Peanut really needs surgery on her hip and neither my mother nor I have the funds to help her.

If you can donate even 1 dollar to help her, that would mean the world to me.

Thank you so much for even looking at this post!

Here’s the link to the gofundme: https://www.gofundme.com/6zfra-save-my-dog&rcid=r01-154160765833-7fc9fc3ffda54e62&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

ED Recovery Update #14

I have a baked potato in the making in the oven as I write this post and I’m actually excited for dinner. I wish they had the tofutti sour cream at the store when I went though because that would make my potato experience 10x better.


I’ve been pretty apathetic when it comes to my meals lately.

I haven’t felt super motivated as far as eating goes and I’ve been eating pretty much the same foods for a few days but a wrench got thrown into my machine today.

My mom brought home a green smoothie for me.

That was really nice. 🙂

It feels like the small change of having this smoothie has pretty much reinvigorated my appetite.

I even ate a snack today!!!!!!!

Can you believe it!?


I’ve been taking adderall for a few years at this point and it still really suppresses my appetite. When I take it before I study I have to force myself to have meals for pretty much the rest of the day because it obliterates my appetite so much.

I think I should ask about a different medication next time I’m at the doctor.


I’ve been super nauseous for like 6 days at this point and it sucks. Taking anti-nausea medication barely helps.

I think it’s not illness nausea, I think it’s anxiety nausea.

I’ve been super burdened by my aggravation about work stuff and the all consuming terror of interpersonal interaction that I can barely think of anything else.

Even today when I was on twitch I couldn’t resist talking about being anxious and nauseous.


new food alert!

I’ve been really into granola lately. In fact this morning I finished the last of the granola in the house.

I would sometimes have granola at the center at breakfast and it was fine, but I think it’s even better when you aren’t in a controlled environment.


I need to incorporate these line text breaks into more posts.


Thank you so much for reading!

I hope you had/ will have a nice day!

If you’re going through ED recovery and wanna talk about it, my comments and email are open!

Bye for now!

If I’m Ever In A Coma

I read this story about a guy who was in a coma the other day. In the hospital room they kept the channel tuned to PBS kids. The thing is, the man had the full ability to hear. So he had to listen to hours upon hour of children’s programming. Of all the shows he had to listen to the one that grated on him the most was Barney. After coming out of the coma the man had an undying hatred of Barney because he had to endure so much of it.

I don’t know if the story is true, but it freaked me out.

So since I’m freaked out by the concept of being driven mad by a hospital TV in the event I’m ever in a coma, I have some rules for the TV just in case.

  • I would like at least one news broadcast played per day so that if I come out of my hypothetical coma I don’t have to catch up to the world.
  • If The Golden Girls is on, change the channel to that.
  • Try to play foreign language media for me as much as possible so I don’t forget my languages.
  • Please no cop dramas i.e NCIS or Law and Order. They freak me out while also boring me to death.
  • Try to play mainly sitcoms on the tv. I like Seinfeld, TGG, King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, Louie, Sex and the City, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (my guilty pleasure, don’t judge me) The Simpsons (earlier seasons), and The Nanny quite a bit. I however don’t like Friends, Family Guy, The Big Bang Theory, or Cheers. Don’t play The Big Bang Theory for the love of god.
  • If Flavor of Love reruns come on, you have to play them for me. No excuses.

So that’s all that comes to mind when I think about what I’d like on the TV if I’m in a coma. Put a little reminder in your brain about this just in case.

Thank you for reading! ♡

ED Recovery Update #13

It’s been a while since one of these. There are probably new readers who don’t even know I’m recovering from an eating disorder at this point.

So here’s an update.

I haven’t had a hypoglycemic episode in a super long time. I think the last time I had one was in July. That makes me super happy.

I have been able to not use my “menu” for about 3 weeks right now. I generally have better hunger cues but I do sometimes need to force myself to eat. I’d say I force myself once every 2-3 days. That’s quite a bit better than my past average of forcing myself for about 1 meal a day.

I’m a little less scared when I get weighed. I still don’t trust myself to weigh myself at home but when I go to the doctor and need weighed, I can handle it. I also don’t really know my measurement right now. That’s really weird for me.

hmm…

Oh!

I don’t go for my daily walks anymore and it kinda makes me sad. I really enjoyed my walks, but I’m having a bout of anxiety right now so I’m too nervous to go for my walks. I wish people didn’t suck and dudes wouldn’t pull up to any unsuspecting girl and say nasty stuff.

I’m kinda low energy recently.

I don’t really know why. I think it may be a work thing. I don’t work every day, but I do have a bit of an emotional load from working. I feel like all the customers stare at me in a bad way. Most of the customers at the store I work at are 30-60 years old or so. I find that when I catch them staring there’s a vailed glare in their eyes. Maybe I’m just reading into it too much and they just have angry faces. I have like a mental reflex where if I see someone looking angrily at me, I think it’s about my body. Like they’re disgusted by me. I hate it. I know most of the time it’s because I come across as uppity (that’s what I’ve been told) but my ED mind is irrational.

I generally love being stared at (because I love attention) but when there’s a glare there I feel bad. I think anybody is like that though. Nobody likes to be glared at.

So that’s all that comes to mind when I think of ED stuff.

Thanks for reading.