A Taste of Fame & Toxicity

A word I think has been really overused by people in the general vicinity of my demographic is toxic. I think a lot of people around my demo use the word toxic in situations where it truly does not apply in the slightest.

What happened to the word mean? or rude? or sh*tty?

Why is every person who makes a mistake *`^~toxic~^`* now?

I make it a point to avoid using the word toxic as a descriptor entirely just because it’s so grossly misused and overused.

That changes today.

I officially declare that:



That took a lot to get off of my chest.

So if you don’t follow celebrity news I’ll give you a quick rundown of the situation that led to today.

So a few years ago, Ariana Grande (a pop singer) and Mac Miller (a rapper) were dating. They lasted a good while in hollywood terms and then broke up. Pretty soon after news came out that Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson (from SNL, one of my favorite SNL cast members btw) were not only dating, but engaged. They were super public about it; didn’t hide from paparazzi, got matching tattoos, she had a song named after him on her album, they got a pet pig together, everything. A while later, Mac Miller died from an overdose. Not quickly after, people started to blame Ariana for his death. *note: there was also a bombing at an Ariana Grande concert a while ago which she was also blamed for somehow* So things haven’t been coming up milhouse for Ariana Grande and then guess what? Yep, her and Pete Davidson break up. She then releases the song Thank U, Next and people say she’s capitalizing off of her exes pain and whatever else (p.s please can this song get less airtime? I get that it’s catchy but jesus)

And today we found out that Pete Davidson has been suicidal.

So a lot of people (including high profile celebrities like Kanye West and Nicki Minaj) have been chiming in. Takes range from “we need to focus on Ariana’s mental health”, to “this is all Ariana’s fault and she’s toxic”, to “Nicki Minaj needs to shut the hell up”, to “could we maybe try to help the guy who threatened suicide?”

So here is where we start talking about the fanbase. AG’s fans have been sending death threats and hateful messages to Pete Davidson for months now. And now that he’s suicidal the prevailing take I’ve seen from her fans is that we should focus on Ariana Grande’s mental health. That in and of itself is fine.

Now Ariana fans have been leaving a deluge of the same annoying comebacks as always on any critical tweet.

Listen, here’s an open letter to twitter stans:

Please, for the love of god, come up with better comebacks. Responding “THAnK yOu, NeXt” under everything has not been witty since the first time somebody did it. Ya’ll are annoying and lack the slightest grasp of comedy. You think you’re funny but you aren’t. It’s literally so easy to respond to people in a witty, sassy way. These canned responses that signify which fandom clan you belong to make you look like you’re jumping at the chance to matter. Thank you.

So here’s where I become a part of this. And by a part of this I mean I’m like a skin tag.

So Andy Milonakis has been tweeting shady stuff about Ariana Grande pretty much all day (I think he might be friends with Pete Davidson, but I don’t know). I don’t agree with a lot of the stuff he’s been saying (although I did find one of his tweets funny), but I saw a reply that I thought was really dumb. Somebody responded to Andy’s tweet with “the locals gettin bold today i see”. For those of you who don’t interact much with twitter stans, a “local” is a catchall term that people whose life is twitter use to insult people with lives or people who are “irrelevant”.

That’s dumb, dude.

So of course I responded: “andy milonakis has been famous for over a decade”.

Well… My tweet has been viewed over 20,000 times now.


I thought it would be pretty much a throw away statement but I guess not…

So of course I’m no online personality now, but I’ve been getting a few responses an hour and that has motivated me to further investigate the Ariana Grande fanbase.

Bad idea.

Now just to be transparent, I’ve had a negative leaning perception of her fans ever since they sent xenophobic messages to Kris Wu in droves when his album charted better than hers. He’s chinese! He’s huge in China! In what world do you think a huge Chinese celebrity would underperform in the charts!? There’s like 2 billion people in China!

So I saw some stuff. Hate towards BTS (who have never done anything to deserve the hate they receive btw), death threats to Pete Davidson who they know is suicidal, and all sorts of corny, mean garbage.

And this was just what I found when I searched “Ariana Grande” on twitter.

I’m sure there’s some fandom slang too but I don’t like Ariana Grande’s music enough to learn her fan lingo. (not to say I dislike her music of course, I love No Tears Left To Cry, God Is A Woman, Into You, and a bunch of her other songs. I just don’t put effort into supporting artists whose b-sides I don’t consistently listen to and enjoy)

Now, those of you acquainted with twitter fans may say “but you like BTS and their fans suck!”.

This is a game of statistics my dude. BTS’s fans rarely send death threats and I’ve never seen one be xenophobic (and of course this is my opinion and it has very little influence in the world.)

I just hope Ariana Grande gets better fans. I hope in the near future we can avoid being subjected to annoying, copy-and-pasted “clapbacks” on twitter. I hope that Kris Wu will receive retribution for the hatred he’s received simply for making music. And I hope some day we’ll all wake up and realize BTS and Beyonce are producing the most consistently great pop culture content on earth and they deserve all of our attention.


I kinda just wanted to post my screenshot on my blog and here I am after writing an over 1,000 word post about things that barely matter.

Thanks for reading!

BTW, my tweet has over 25,000 views now after typing all of this.


BKchat, tumblr, and incels

I have no idea where this post is gonna go, but I’m going to write anyway. I think I’m gonna write one paragraph about whatever comes to mind until I feel satisfied.

I just got off work, which is super great. I strongly prefer the days when I work early and leave early over days where I show up later and close the store.

Yesterday I took a lot of photos. I photographed Posh and Samoa, Maddie, and myself. I’m still in the process of editing them though, so you guys will see them some time in the near future.

Recently I’ve really enjoyed a show called bkchat london. I often saw people on twitter talk about stuff the people on bkchat said and I never felt particularly compelled to spend like an hour listening to people debate about relatively simple (in my eyes) subjects. But I watched an episode the other day and realized the show is actually pretty interesting (although I wish the cast wouldn’t yell over each other every 25 seconds). It’s interesting to hear people who have views that I’d never even thought people had.

We got Marshmallows ashes yesterday. It’s weird, I thought I was pretty well recovered, but I guess I’m not. The second I took out the urn, I started sobbing. I just feel really  bad. I miss him a lot.

I’m still figuring out college stuff. I have to do financial aid online paperwork stuff… Not enthused.

Have y’all heard about how tumblr is banning adult content? I’m worried they may start hunting down anyone who posts anything nsfw (i.e discussions of sexual assault). When the news came out, a lot of people started passing around an article about how a lot of women discover and prefer viewing p*rn on tumblr. I think it’s odd that people have taken this information and used it as a gotcha to tumblr that they shouldn’t ban adult content so women can watch p*rn. I don’t wanna sound like a prude but… If tumblr has to ban all adult content so that there won’t be as big of a child p*rnography problem, I value the safety of children 5000 times more than the feelings of women who use tumblr to get off.

Have you guys also heard about all the incel dudes reporting s*x workers with premium snapchats to the IRS? That’s so odd to me. I don’t want to entirely reveal my stance because I don’t want people to say “oh so you have s*x workers?” because that’s what I’ve seen a lot of super liberal feminists say when anyone offers the slightest bit of criticism toward the s*x industry. What I will say is that I’m not particularly fond of the majority of the s*x industry, but just because you may think “p*rn is bad” or that you’re bitter about pretty women not talking to you, you don’t need to try to ruin people’s lives. ugh.

This post really meanders, doesn’t it?

Tomorrow I have a psychiatrist appointment. I’m excited to get out. It’ feels like for the past month I’ve gone to work, come home, and maybe if I’m feeling wild I’ll go to the grocery store. I wouldn’t say I’m a homebody or a person who needs to constantly be out and about, but I really do enjoy the occasional outing.

ok. I’m gonna go now, I need to study.

Thanks for reading.

October 1st

*gif warning*




It’s October everyone!

So what are we doing in October?

Despite my love of old halloween themed geocities blinkies, I actually don’t like halloween. I am a very, very easily scared person. If my mom enters the kitchen while I’m cooking I scream because just that small surprise terrifies me. When I was 8 years old I had an undying hatred of Michael Jackson because the thriller music video scared me so bad. When we go to Disney World I can’t enter the dinosaur area of Animal Kingdom because the dinosaur animatronics scare me to death. In other worlds I’m too weak for scary things.

I don’t know anybody who’s having a halloween party and I’m too old to fruitfully trick or treat, so I don’t have anywhere to wear it but…

I wanna make a halloween costume!

I’ve never made my own halloween costume, I didn’t always trick or treat or anything for halloween and when I did they would be either made by my mom or store bought. I’ve made a few (terrible) cosplays in my day (thank god there are no photos of the Equius one). So I think with enough effort I could make a costume that’s not skin-crawlingly embarassing at this point in my life.

What else do I wanna do in October?

I wanna…

  • get 70 more monthly views on my blog than September
  • try to take at least one photo every day
  • save as much money as i can from my paychecks
  • do at least 6 lessons in Mandarin and Japanese respectively
  • finish 3 more chapters of my korean textbook
  • do my acne scar routine on my chest acne scars
  • write at least 2 articles for other publications
  • send in my college application
  • write in my diary at least 20 times
  • eat at my favorite restaurant once *fingers crossed*
  • make a youtube video where I speak 0 english
  • go over my spanish (a customer came into the store who only spoke spanish and I felt so bad because I didn’t know how to tell her that the fitting rooms were full)
  • take a few OOTD pictures
  • do better at eating than in September

October also means we’re 10 months into 2018!

It feels like it was just March last week.

I’m hoping that in 2019 things will be even better. I have goals already set for 2019, but I’ll tell them to you around New Years. I’ll need some of you guy’s help achieving them so I hope you’ll pay attention to those.

October also means it’s the perfect time to use my favorite lotion!

My favorite body butter is called Carved For Attention and it’s an old limited edition perfectly posh lotion. It smells like pumpkin pie to me. I wish perfectly posh would bring it back.

So since the post is called October 1st, I’ll tell you what’s going on today, October 1st.

I sometimes like to imagine somebody reading my blog 7 years in the future and wondering what was going on in the world as I wrote these posts. SO here’s what’s going on in the world on October 1st, 2018.

The #1 trending topic on twitter is #october1st.

It’s been 1 year since the Las Vegas shooting.

A tsunami just recently hit Indonesia and Japan (my condolences for those who’ve died and unending support to those affected)

Kanye West changed his name to YE on Saturday and is doing more stupid stuff apparently.

The 73rd UN general assembly is happening as I speak. (BTS spoke there a few days ago and I’m so proud.)

The Brett Kavanaugh investigation has been elevated to an FBI investigation.

Google is supposed to drop the Pixel 3 on October 9th.

Multiple protests are going on for Muslim Detention in China.

Elon Musk may have been bought out from Tesla (I can’t really tell what’s going on)

So yeah, those are the things that come up when I look for news today. If you’re reading this far in the future please comment the date you’re reading this and the most interesting news story to you so we can keep this news of the day thing going.