Good Day

Today is so far going according to plan.

I tend to be pretty hesitant of coming up with a time table for my days because things don’t always go according to plan and I believe that the secret to good planning is having contingencies.

Today has had contingencies, but they’re great contingencies!

My big idea for today was to do laundry, study for 3 hours, finally put batteries in my computer mouse, make next weeks bullet journal spread, and take a- as I call it- full shower (a full shower is a shower where I not only do normal shower stuff but also do my less frequent body care stuff like putting on a body mask, dry brushing, doing a hair mask etc etc).

So far I’ve done 2 loads of laundry, studied for 2 and a half hours (I’m on a break as I write this), put batteries in my mouse, and (don’t gasp too loud) cleaned my room. (!!!!!!!!!!!)

My room isn’t as clean as I’d like it to be, but it’s far cleaner than it was so I’m happy.

I’ve decided that over the course of this month I want to do 1 cleaning project on each (or most) of my days off work.

My mom and I are going to go out of town toward the end of December, so I want Angel who’s petsitting to not be mortified.

I’m in a shockingly good mood right now, it’s honestly kind of concerning.

Tomorrow my mom’s gonna get Marshmallow’s ashes…

I don’t know how I’ll react when I get them.

I have a little urn necklace and I have someone who’s willing to put some of the ashes in it for me, so I’ve been able to save myself the grief of that. I think actually seeing the ashes themselves would have ruined me.

God I miss Mel.

I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately about rabbits. Marshmallow really made me love the species. I was so scared that he’d be impersonal, but he turned out to be so affectionate and full of personality traits that just don’t come to mind when most people think of rabbits.

And so…

I’m thinking I’ll adopt another rabbit a little while after I’m settled in to college.

I don’t want to replace Mel, but I just really miss the presence of a herbivore in the home.

I sound like a crazy person when I talk about this; but I really, truly believe that I have a “spiritual” connection with herbivorous animals in general, especially rabbits and cattle. I don’t love to use the word spiritual because I personally associate it with hippy-dippy nonsense, but I can’t think of a less hippy-ish way of saying how I feel. I think herbivores and I just get each other. Like, I remember when my mom and I went to Custer State Park in South Dakota, people were tossing carrots toward the prairie dogs to try to get them to come closer, they just approached me. I think that was an awakening for me.

Since my prairie dog moment, I’ve noticed that all sort of animals like squirrels and such seem to be less tense around me.

I think I have a gift.

Some people have a thick skin, some people have super model proportions, I connect with herbivorous animals.

So who’s the real winner here?

the answer is me

Alright, I’ve gotta get back to studying so I’m headed out.

Thanks for reading!

♡♡♡♡♡

oh! and I realized recently that I haven’t posted any new photos of myself on my blog for quite a while so here’s a picture of me:

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My Day

Today has been a little productive and very photography oriented.

I woke up at about 6:45 so I could take out the trash. Today the trash men came at 8:00. I wish they were more consistent with the time they come to get the trash because sometimes they arrive at 11:00, sometimes 14:00, sometimes 7:30. But I don’t want to be too critical because I’m thankful that they remove the garbage from my life.

I then went to sit and wait for an idea to come to mind when my mom asked me to edit a photo of her dog Posh. The edit turned out looking cheesy, so I offered her to take some pictures of Posh and Samoa in front of my photography backdrop.

This would lead to the one and only piece of drama in my day.

After eating breakfast, I got to setting up my photography rig and got the dog to the room where my stuff was. Posh mush be afraid of the white fabric because she refused to stand up. She laid down, she sat, she ran off of the backdrop. Samoa also wouldn’t stand (do they hate white?) but he was less stiff. After about 35 minutes of wrestling 2 french bulldogs, I ended up with these photos.

 

After that, I figured since I already was taking pictures, I might as well take some pictures of myself.

If you haven’t seen my most recent youtube video, you may not know that I’ve finally made a rig to take pictures of myself with my shutter button so as to get wider self shots.

I got a lot of good pictures which is pretty rare. Normally I’ll take about 400 shots and end up with about 4 good ones. Today I took 200 and ended up with 30 good pictures!

I’m not gonna post all 30 but here’s a good amount of them! (they’re big so just scroll hard if you don’t wanna look at me)

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shutter button + timer = cheesy pose central!
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so cheesy!
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I look like I expect something. (it’s attention)
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I just wanna show you my shoes honestly. They’re tough to put on so if I wear them, people need to see them. But you can see my general outfit as well.

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i try to pose with props so my pictures aren’t so boring but it normally looks unnatural. This one doesn’t though! (don’t tell me it looks unnatural please, thanks)
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I accidentally pressed the button while checking the focus
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Did you think I was done with my cheesy poses?

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See? Unnatural.
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I think this is the best showcase of my face from today.

 

After my photo frenzy, I studied Swahili for about an hour because I’ve been neglecting that language for a bit too long.

Since studying, I edited my photos and did a load of laundry.

I really need to write in my language log today. I haven’t written in it for like 10 days! Terrible!

I think tomorrow I’m gonna try to get some great pictures of Peanut, Poptart, and Maddie. They’re a lot better at posing than Samoa and Posh.

Thanks for reading!

A Look at 13 Year Old Me

I found an old SD card from when I was in 8th grade recently.

I only got the courage to look at the files on it today and wow…

I was annoying.

I’m not going to pretend that I’m a completely non-annoying person nowadays because I honestly annoy myself sometimes but whew!

I feel bad for everyone that spent time around me at that age.

I guess since I love embarassing myself, I’ll show you some of the astounding photos I took in 2013 (photos and videos with others in them are excluded but trust me those photos are awful too).

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I thought taking blurry photos was the height of comedy (i still kinda do)
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take note of the deep side part
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does every girl have a colored mascara phase?
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I really wasn’t as ugly as I thought I was
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This was my instagram profile photo for over a year.
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I think N.O from BTS is playing on the laptop in the background… (I still like that song)
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and in this one Voodoo Doll from VIXX is on in the background (no regrets, still holds up)
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This was the first photo I ever uploaded to tumblr… Don’t try to find it on there, I deleted that blog

I think someday I’m gonna look back at the way I am now and feel the same gut wrenching horror that I feel when I look through this SD card today, but that’s not gonna stop me from being me for now.

It kinda makes me uncomfortable to see the similarities between 13 year old me and 18 year old me (i.e an undying love of eyeliner and a habit of taking a lot of pictures of myself).

It also makes me sad to be reminded of my mental state during this phase. I remember always feeling like I was reaching for something that I could never grasp. I still feel that way really often. At this age and throughout high school, I felt like I was constantly getting close to getting the approval that I so desperately craved, but it would never come in full. I was the understudy. I was in the background. I was around in case something bad happened to the people that mattered.

I don’t think these feelings of inadequacy will ever go away but at least my braces did.

So thanks for walking down this horrible, unpaved memory lane with me. I hope my braces didn’t gross you out.

I Fixed My Google Photos, Here’s Some Pictures

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the old lady
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I took this the day before I got pneumonia
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My bruise from getting blood drawn
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wink
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I took this the day Mel died and it makes me sad to look at 😦
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one of my favorite things is seeing the moon in the morning
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samoa taking a break from being mean
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this is my first time taking a picture of myself in a car  I think
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This is probably gonna get uploaded to my instagram too
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insert caption here

and the piece de resistance…

 

 

I’ve always wanted to take a picture of myself sneezing and I finally did it.

Day in the Life: August 8th, 2018

Today my day began at midnight. I suppose everybody’s day begins at midnight but mine began with my mom calling me to her room.

She found a bunch of things in a box including my favorite toy from when I was little. A purple penguin bath toy.

 

I wish I could remember the name I gave him, but I can’t.

After reminiscing with my mom for a while I eventually went to my bed and fell asleep at 1AM.

When I woke up at 8, I felt that today would be a productive day so after a few minutes of waking up I put on my exercise gear and spent a few minutes on the exercise bike to warm up for my daily stretches.

I got in a very satisfying stretch and I did a pretty good meditation session.
By that time it was time for breakfast and I decided I would take today to perfect my vegan french toast recipe.

I’ve finally created a good and easy french toast recipe and I’ll be posting it tomorrow!

I ate my astounding breakfast (if i do say so myself) and then went to the desk to study.

I studied Korean and Mandarin for about an hour total and then i started to get ready to go out of town to see my psychiatrist.

I got ready early so that I would have time to take pictures of myself:

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she no want my kiss 😦

 

I then went to the psychiatrist (1 hour drive each way and a 1 hour appointment, 3 hour ordeal).

I plan on eating dinner in an hour and a half and I’m probably gonna study/journal until then.

Now i’m writing this post… pretty boring day when I write it out.

It felt like more when it happened.

I think I’ll post my stretching routine and some meditation tips some time soon, I think I’ve got something to say on those topics.

 

the difference opening the blinds makes

i very rarely open the blinds in my bedroom but i did today.

i really like how having a bit more natural light in my room makes me feel and makes my belongings look.

i don’t think this will be a daily thing because i think on an average day where i live there is far too much sun for comfort but today is nice and cloudy so i’m happy to have the light.

peanut seems to like it too as she is laying facing the window.

everybody else in my room (maddie and poptart) seems a bit bemused. they’re under a chair.

here’s a picture of me and peanut

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untitled post 2

so i may make this untitled post thing a series because i have these urges to write something but i don’t have a topic or anything so you may be seeing a lot of these untitled posts.

so first order of business: my weekly bullet journal spread.

here it is

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i used crayola supertips for the large boxes and pilot juice pens (.38mm) for the lettering. my tape is from a set of 48 washi tapes i bought on amazon.


next on the agenda: i have a new podcast i really like. it’s called coffee break chinese and i listen to one episode on each of my morning walks and i’ve learned a ton of new words (like how to say diarrhea) and it’s helped with my speech because i repeat the example sentences like a crazy person as i pace across my neighborhood.


i’m in the middle of making my study tips post and i’m gonna make an accompanying youtube video so you don’t have to read what i expect to be a long, photo heavy post (also because i think it would reach more people on youtube).


i’ve been doing my makeup just to sit around recently because i’m trying to get better at makeup. i’ve been doing my eyeliner really large and further dragged out from my actual eye lately because it makes my eyes seem bigger in photos. i used to do my eyeliner very horizontal when i was like a sophomore in high school and i still kinda like the look of a pound of thick black eyeliner so i’m doing very thick eyeliner but less parallel to the floor.

wanna see some old photos of me?

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look at the progression of eyeliner
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i really thought i was being artsy in the courtyard of my school 
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LOOK AT MY EYELINER. it’s kinda cute…
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i wore those glasses for too long
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me when i was 13. clumpy lashes and everything

so you can hopefully understand me when i discuss thick eyeliner because it’s kinda my livelihood since i was like 12 and i bought my first liquid liner.

this post is cluttered. i like it.